Saturday, July 29, 2017
Monday, July 24, 2017
I finally feel like a Pippus
I have always harboured a secret jealousy against those who know their family tree. Or those who know where their great-great-grandparents lived. Or those who actually have family reunions (Ok - I realize that last one may be more fun in my head than in real life - but go with me here).
Through a series of odd events (mostly screaming, yelling fist fights) I know very little about the Pippus side of my family. In fact, I still have cousins all around Moose Jaw and I never see them and would not know most of them if you introduced me to them.
However, today I did something that makes my kinship with the Pippus side feel stronger than it ever has before...... I got fingerprinted!
It all started last week when I went to get a criminal record check done so that I could volunteer at the church's "Vacation Bible School". I filled out the form, waited more than the suggested five days and went to pick it up today.
However, the officer could not find it. She found Sara's right away and asked, "Did you come in at the same time as her?" When I told her it was the same day, but a different time she seemed even more confused.
After about 15 minutes, several discussions that I could not quite overhear and some strange looks from the other officers, she finally announced that she had finally found my form..... and that I had been selected for fingerprinting.
"It sometimes happens as a random thing.... like getting pulled out of line at the airport for extra screening" she said sort of unconvincingly.
The officer asked me to follow her and led me down a long hallway, around one corner, around another one and down another long hall. As we went, the décor changed from nice, modern office to stark, Communist cell block.
Then she took me into a room...... in fact, it was THE ROOM where they take people to be identified by others. You know what I mean...... lines on the wall to show how tall you are..... numbers under which you can stand so that the identifier can say "It was number 3"....... the one way mirror so that they can see you but you can't see them, etc.
Then the officer said, "Sometimes, if your name is like someone else's name, you will get flagged".... and then it all made sense! Our family joke (one of them anyway) is that there is almost always a "Pippus" on the court docket in Moose Jaw either because (a) my brother - who works with young offenders - has a client there or (b) one of my cousins has been charged with something. "B" was starting to make a lot of sense.
(Side note: My other favorite family joke - that I made up is..... "The Pippus side of my family does not do family reunions.... unless you count everyone getting together for the parole hearings!"....... Of course, I am just joking. No one ever attends the parole hearings!)
The other thing that I noticed was that the longer I sat there, the more comfortable I felt. It was not a nice place.... very stark.... great big lights ready to shine on each suspect in the line-up..... but I felt very calm. Maybe not on the surface..... but at some deep, genetic level this place seemed very familiar! Long, lost memories of "Pippus jail nights past"? I am not sure, but something made me feel like I was at home.
Anyway, we filled out some forms and the officer said, "I need to take your picture. Please step up to this line"..... it was the "Mug shot" line!!!
And here is the best part...... I had not seen a mirror since I entered the place, but I had been riding my motorcycle, so when I took my helmet off, it messed up my hair really badly. When the camera went "zit" and the picture came up on the screen, here I am standing there in my leather jacket with my hair all over the place like Einstein or Carrot Top!!! I looked like I just crawled out of a dumpster!!!!
"Oh ya" the cop says, "that looks good!"
LOOKS GOOD???!!!! FOR WHAT??????? A ONE WAY TICKET TO THE POKEY??????
Anyway, then they took my prints (they do that digitally now - not with the old ink blotter method.... that is for all y'alls that have never been "on the inside" like me!) and that was about it. They led me to the door, thanked me for my co-operation and told me that the results should be back in about 5 weeks.
5 weeks!!!!! VBS starts mid-August!
Oh well - at least I got a good mug shot on file now!
(This post is dedicated to my mom who - when I told her this story this afternoon - could not stop laughing) :)
Through a series of odd events (mostly screaming, yelling fist fights) I know very little about the Pippus side of my family. In fact, I still have cousins all around Moose Jaw and I never see them and would not know most of them if you introduced me to them.
However, today I did something that makes my kinship with the Pippus side feel stronger than it ever has before...... I got fingerprinted!
It all started last week when I went to get a criminal record check done so that I could volunteer at the church's "Vacation Bible School". I filled out the form, waited more than the suggested five days and went to pick it up today.
However, the officer could not find it. She found Sara's right away and asked, "Did you come in at the same time as her?" When I told her it was the same day, but a different time she seemed even more confused.
After about 15 minutes, several discussions that I could not quite overhear and some strange looks from the other officers, she finally announced that she had finally found my form..... and that I had been selected for fingerprinting.
"It sometimes happens as a random thing.... like getting pulled out of line at the airport for extra screening" she said sort of unconvincingly.
The officer asked me to follow her and led me down a long hallway, around one corner, around another one and down another long hall. As we went, the décor changed from nice, modern office to stark, Communist cell block.
Then she took me into a room...... in fact, it was THE ROOM where they take people to be identified by others. You know what I mean...... lines on the wall to show how tall you are..... numbers under which you can stand so that the identifier can say "It was number 3"....... the one way mirror so that they can see you but you can't see them, etc.
Then the officer said, "Sometimes, if your name is like someone else's name, you will get flagged".... and then it all made sense! Our family joke (one of them anyway) is that there is almost always a "Pippus" on the court docket in Moose Jaw either because (a) my brother - who works with young offenders - has a client there or (b) one of my cousins has been charged with something. "B" was starting to make a lot of sense.
(Side note: My other favorite family joke - that I made up is..... "The Pippus side of my family does not do family reunions.... unless you count everyone getting together for the parole hearings!"....... Of course, I am just joking. No one ever attends the parole hearings!)
The other thing that I noticed was that the longer I sat there, the more comfortable I felt. It was not a nice place.... very stark.... great big lights ready to shine on each suspect in the line-up..... but I felt very calm. Maybe not on the surface..... but at some deep, genetic level this place seemed very familiar! Long, lost memories of "Pippus jail nights past"? I am not sure, but something made me feel like I was at home.
Anyway, we filled out some forms and the officer said, "I need to take your picture. Please step up to this line"..... it was the "Mug shot" line!!!
And here is the best part...... I had not seen a mirror since I entered the place, but I had been riding my motorcycle, so when I took my helmet off, it messed up my hair really badly. When the camera went "zit" and the picture came up on the screen, here I am standing there in my leather jacket with my hair all over the place like Einstein or Carrot Top!!! I looked like I just crawled out of a dumpster!!!!
"Oh ya" the cop says, "that looks good!"
LOOKS GOOD???!!!! FOR WHAT??????? A ONE WAY TICKET TO THE POKEY??????
Anyway, then they took my prints (they do that digitally now - not with the old ink blotter method.... that is for all y'alls that have never been "on the inside" like me!) and that was about it. They led me to the door, thanked me for my co-operation and told me that the results should be back in about 5 weeks.
5 weeks!!!!! VBS starts mid-August!
Oh well - at least I got a good mug shot on file now!
(This post is dedicated to my mom who - when I told her this story this afternoon - could not stop laughing) :)
Saturday, July 22, 2017
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