Who is in? (Blog 25 of 30)

My brother Lenny.... 

(Who by the way, is not really Lenny ....I nicknamed him after the mad doctor on the Flintstones .... Len Frankenstone.  Len had a friend who kept trying to stop him from doing these bad experiments.  The friend would plead, "Len!! Len!!! Don't do it Len!!!!"   So naturally when my brother went to do something stupid, that is what I said to him.... and he has been Lenny ever since)

.... and I were having a discussion about holidays the other day.  He was saying how much he liked the "Bright Lights/Big city thing and I was saying that, while I did not mind cities, I would much rather go somewhere peaceful and quiet..... preferably on a motorcycle.

Then I get home tonight and look what I find.......

Sara is away for the weekend, but she left behind an Easter present which included a bunch of chocolate and my favourite motorcycle touring magazine.  And, if you look at the black lettering on the cover, you will notice that it has a story about about one of the nicest, most peaceful, most beautiful remote places in the world.... that just happens to have great roads for riding!

I am taking this as both a sign and permission.......

So who wants to go????  We can ride out and back...... tent along the way...... get the whole experience..... what can happen???

Just because Lenny and I got blown off the road and into a ditch during a near tornado in North Dakota one year.... and just because I knocked my glasses off my bike seat and then backed over them  causing me to have to duct tape and zip tie them together so I could ride for the next 8 days (a true fashion statement that you can see here) ..... and just because whenever we go on bike trips the perfect weather they predicted turns into either 8 days of rain (in BC) or 6 days of 3 degrees Celsius (in Montana)..... and just because we had to hide in the basement of our hotel during the only tornado warning ever issued in Lead, South Dakota...... and just because Lenny was almost out of gas and this lady told us to come to her farm and she would fill our tanks and we thought she might be an ax murderer who was going to kill us and hide our bodies in the field out back (for the record..... she wasn't and she didn't)..... and just because another huge storm ripped my tent and broke all the poles..... and just because that all happened in a span of 7 years and it is just the stuff that I can remember off the top of my head....

What could go wrong???

All the bad stuff is behind me, right????

I think Sara left this book here for a reason.  It even has a well marked map for us to follow!!!

Who is in?????  :)

A Blog about Nothing (Blog 24 of 30)

When Jerry Seinfeld was offered a pilot on NBC, he enlisted his friend, Larry David, to co-write it with him.  David, knowing that most pilots fail, took the job without giving it much thought.

After the pilot was aired, NBC ordered four more shows and so Seinfeld and David came up with stories for them.

When those proved to be successful, NBC ordered an entire season of 13 thirteen shows.  Seinfeld was thrilled.   Larry David, on the other hand, was not!  In fact, he told Seinfeld to refuse it.

"Thirteen episodes!!!   How can I come up with thirteen more episodes???  We've run out of stories!!!" he famously ranted.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, because........

I GOT NOTHING!!!!!!   THIRTY BLOGS IN THIRTY DAYS!!?!??!?    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????     DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT IS EVEN SOMEWHAT INTERESTING MUCH LESS SOMETHING REMOTELY FUNNY EVERY........ SINGLE....... DAY??????   IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!

WHO SIGNED ME UP FOR THIS??????   WHO THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA???????

I HAVE TOLD EVERY GOOD STORY THAT I CAN THINK OF!!!!!!!! 

I HAVE PUT TOGETHER EVERY STUPID THOUGHT I HAVE EVER HAD....... AND NOW I AM OUT!!!!!

I JUST SIT AT THE COMPUTER AND WATCH THE LITTLE CURSOR BLIP AT ME...... AND..........NOTHING!!!!

Then - to make matters worse - no one and nothing is cooperating with me either!

For example......  I watched the paper boy go up and down our icy streets today... watched him for a good 10 minutes.... do you think he would slip and fall and injure himself in some comical way..... nooooooo!!!

I was on an Air Force base in Florida last fall but do you think I could wander off into a restricted area and have six dudes chase me down at gunpoint like a guy I know did at the Air Base in Minot...... noooooo!!!!!

I read the other day about a lady who got hit by a piece of space junk!  Part of an old rocket came out of orbit, burned its way through the atmosphere and ended up hitting her on the shoulder.   I have been outside like 20 times today...... has anything from space hit me????   Nooooo!!!

When I was a kid, my Dad was friends with a bunch of shady characters who met untimely demises due to various activities that were  - ummmm - shall we say...... outside the norm.  Not me!!!  The craziest thing my friends do is order two different DQ blizzards in the same cup!!!!! 

I......... Got....... Nothing! 

In fact, you may have noticed that this entire blog is about nothing!!!! 

But - I guess - writing about nothing worked out pretty well for Seinfeld!

So tune in tomorrow to see if I have come up with anything interesting.... had a complete nervous breakdown........  or just give you my grocery list for the weekend.

You Have ONE JOB!!!! (Blog 23 of 30)

Phone in my office rings this morning, it is a lady from the bank.

"May I speak to the person who did the church money deposit today?"

"Well.... he is not here" I say.  "But I could have him call you back"

"Oh sure!!  No big deal.  We just noticed that the date on one of the cheques is wrong.  We can correct it over the phone.  The number is 306......"

"Whoa.... hang on second!!  I need to find a pen!.....  OK..... I am ready"

"Ok...... he can call me at 306-634-3116"

"Umm - nope- actually he can't.  This  is the number you just called" I said.  "That is my office number"

"It is?  Oh - then my number is 603-6........ no - I don't mean 603..... of course I mean 306 - 647....... no!!!   That is not right either is it?"

"Ummm..... nope it can't be!

"Well - ummm - ok....... he can call me at 306-634-7789"

"7789"

"Did I say 634 or 637???"

"You said 634"

Oh it should have been 637"

"7789 still?"

"Yes!"

"Ok - I will get him to try to call you!  Have a nice day!"

Is it just me or does it seem more than a little strange that A PERSON WHO WORKS AT A BANK had so much trouble keeping numbers straight?????

If I had any kind of money in my accounts, I might be a bit worried.  :)

I have SOME Good Ideas (Blog 22 of 30)

As I was driving to the office last week, I heard on the radio.... "And 600 gold gilded wedding invitations have been delivered this week" and I wondered, "Is that from our house?"

As you may be aware, there is a wedding taking place in our family this summer.

Now, you may be wondering why I would not know how many invitations have been delivered or whether they are gold gilded or not....... well, that is because I have not been consulted!  (By the way, of course, the 600 on the radio were for the royal wedding - not ours).

To be fair..... every time the girls start talking wedding plans, I either.... (A) Scream and run outside.... (B)  Stare at one spot on the wall like I am in a comatose state or (C) Pretend that I only understand Swedish..... which does make taking my input slightly more difficult.

However..... hearing that thing on the radio shook me up and made me wonder why I am not a more central part of the planning process.  After all, who has been involved in more weddings in our family than me?????  I have like 50 weddings under my belt!!!!   I am creative!!!!   I am a modern man who can contribute adult ideas!!!!!!   So here goes........

1.  I think that instead of the minister asking, "Who gives this woman...?" and me just standing there saying, "I do!" like a dope...... I think that Kendall ought to come down off the stage and fight me!  If he wins, he can marry our daughter!   If I win, they still get married, but Sara and I take their honeymoon trip instead of them.  This would create a little tension and bring some interest to a part of the ceremony that, in my experience, is normally just a "going through the motions" sort of thing. 

In fact..... people could place side bets for wedding presents!!!!   Kendall wins.... they keep the presents!   I win...... everyone takes home a new toaster!!!!!!

2.  At the reception.......Parents and grandparents sit at the head table and the wedding party serves us!!!   Think about it..... we are the ones that have done all the work for the past 22 years, why should the kids get to sit up front and be served????   If anyone deserves to be waited on, it is US!!!!!

3.  Speaking of the reception, two words:  Meat Pies!!!!   Who does not like a good meat pie?   You plunk one of those babies down in the middle of each table and - boom - you have just fed like 6 people for $10.  They are even on sale at "No Frills" right now!!!!   I could fill Kramer's trunk tomorrow - let me know!

4.  Cancel the DJ...... my mom probably still has a bunch of her old Stompin' Tom records in the basement.  Megan has a record-player.   He is Canadian...... Katie like country music...... everyone can sing along.....  what is not to like?

5.  Everyone, including the wedding party, wears Rider jerseys.  This way, no one has to worry about finding the right thing to wear...... Dressing everyone alike could represent the coming together of our families and the unity and love we have for one another (blah, blah, blah)... people would be able to wear them afterwards......and they are green!!!  What is better than that????

6.  No one likes getting pictures done (takes too long..... leaves everyone else sitting around waiting for supper) so instead..... oil paintings!  Everyone at the reception gets to paint a picture of the person across the table from them.  That way, no one is sitting around bored and Katie and Kendall can hang the portraits in their basement so that they can always see who was at their wedding.  This also eliminates the need for a guest book that no one will ever read again!

7.  Forget the flower girl and the ring bearer and hire monkeys instead!  Everyone loves monkeys and, if you get the right ones, you can make them pay all the bills afterwards (I saw a commercial tonight and there was like a whole office of monkeys wearing shirts, ties, and glasses and they were doing accounting and stuff.....They looked very professional and  I bet they would enjoy a day out of the office!)

And those ideas are just off the top of my head...... I gave this list NO THOUGHT AT ALL!!!!  Just think what would happen if you gave me some time and creative license!!!!! 

You have my number!!!!

(Ps.  The best part of this post is that as I was writing it there was a wedding meeting taking place on the phone in the next room.  I don't know why no one asks for my help!)

My Big Break! (Blog 21 of 30)

This may not be the proper venue to announce this, but the truth is going to come out sooner or later, so I may as well say it now...........

I think I may be done preaching!

You read it right!

After almost 30 years of waiting, I have been called up to the big time!!!!

I got asked to play in the "Estevan Strippers" Hockey Tournament!

Let me clarify......

There is a recreation hockey team here called "The Strippers" (We are a coal town.... the way the coal is removed is called "Strip mining"...... hence the hockey team name) and they hold a tournament every year that brings in teams from across the prairies.  When I started playing hockey here, everyone I knew played in that tourney.

Except me!

So I waited for someone to ask me..... and I waited....... and waited!!!!!!    When people asked why I wasn't playing in the tournament, I would tell them (through tears) that I was holding out for a better contract offer...... but I wasn't fooling anyone!!!!

Oh...... I had a shot!!!  In the spring of 1992, a guy with the Saskpower team asked if I wanted to travel to Torquay (A ROAD GAME) and play with them, because they were short that night.   I went and I scored 2 goals and assisted on another.  Two days after that game, buddy called me back and offered me a spot on that team...... a chance to make a name for myself....... but I told him, "No thanks!  I don't think I have the time!"

Don't have the time.............    NOW ALL I HAVE IS TIME!!!!!!!!!! 

I thought my hockey career was over!!   I thought that the dream was done (I am just slightly past prime drafting age, ya know?)......   and then the phone rang today...... and I was reminded that dreams do come true!!!!!   (Stay in school kids!!!  Don't do drugs!!!!)

And the best part is that I convinced my best buddy, Shady Shane, to play on the team with me.  That way, when they do the movie of our lives, they can play the hockey scenes in slow motion with classical music in the background to show how hard we worked to get this big break together (It will be a real tear jerker I am sure!!)

So, if I am not mistaken, this is a picture from last year's tournament.......

Oops..... wait....... I am wrong....... here is the real picture........

Hmmm - that is not nearly as impressive.  Maybe this thing is not as lucrative as I thought it was.  Let me check again.......

- They will pay my entrance fee
- I get all the free coke I can drink
- "Thanks so much for supporting our team and the charity it represents!!!"

CHARITY!!!??????    That does not sound very lucrative!!!!!   D'oh!!!!!

Ummmmm..... ok....... well.......  ah.........   have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE preaching!!!!   Never wanted to do anything else!!!!!    Ha ha........ d'oh!!!!!

See you Sunday!!   :)

A Spring Day Walk (Blog 20 of 30)

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words..... well, that is likely even more true on this blog than on other places.   If you read this thing very often, you may be pleading for more pictures and less silly words.

For those who are in that boat, your wish is my command. 

Besides, going for a walk with Sari is a lot more fun than sitting at a computer!  :)

PS.  The silly words will likely return tomorrow - for better or for worse!

A Little Quiz (Blog 19 of 30)

No - I have not caught myself on fire again or otherwise injured myself lately - I just have been too busy to write.....

Having said that, I don't have any stories to tell (or at least none that I am allowed to share on here), so let me do this.....

A simple quiz......    Every year the "Insurance Bureau of Canada" recreates a list of the "10 Ten Stolen Vehicles in Canada"......  so, using 2016 and 2017 stats (the most recent we have) what is the most popular vehicle to steal????

What is that????  Did you say that you HATE guessing games????

Ok - how about this...... If you guess right, let me know in the comments section and I will either (a) send you $10 or (b) take you out for coffee

(As an aside:  You may note that prize "b" seems to be less than prize "a".......  a couple of cups of coffee would not add up to $10 even at Starbucks!!   But in reality, prize "b" is extremely more valuable because, after all, you get to spend time with me!!!!!)    :)

Ok - ready...... take a guess!!!!

The most popular vehicle to steal in 2016 and 2017........  Holding down an incredible 7 of the top 10 spots in 2016 and an even more incredible 8 of the 10 ten spots in 2017..........

Ford Pickup trucks!   More specifically, Ford F350 pickups!!!!  Their super heavy duty model!

WHAT???????

More people steal Ford heavy duty pickup trucks than anything else??? !!!  Your Cadillac is safe.  Don't worry about the Lexus.  You could leave your Ferrari running in your driveway and - apparently - thieves would rather take your neighbours' Ford pickup truck!

And, again, they hold most of the spots!   In 2016, for example, various years of the F350 hold down positions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 and 9 on the top ten list

Don't believe me..... here is the link:

http://www.ibc.ca/ns/auto/theft/top-ten-stolen-cars?y=2016#stolen-cars

Turns out - the ignition on them is designed so poorly that it is easy to start them without a key.  Now, I am not recommending this, nor will I tell you how to do it, but let's just say that I bet there are a couple of guys around town that could do it in  33.4 seconds or so (give or take!)

Now......   I am so convinced that you did not know the right answer (without cheating) that if you actually guessed the right answer ..... forget $10...... forget coffee.........  I will buy you lunch AND give you $20!!!!!!

NOT..... A...... CHANCE ANYONE CLAIMS THIS!

Ps.  One really nice note:   There is not one 1993 Chrysler Intrepid on any of the lists..... so maybe Kramer is safe!!!  :)

Ummm.....Do you smell something burning???? (Blog 18 of 30)

Sara is away, so this has been my home for the past two days

That is my garage and that car is my 1973 Dodge Dart Swinger. I have been working on it for a couple of years and it still needs lots of work.  Mostly metal.... new floors, rust repair etc.  Since Sara was gone, I figured that I should just buckle down and get something done.

Now, every time I go to weld something, I think, "Should I buy an actual welding jacket?".... and my answer has always been "Bah!!" (that is a direct quote by the way). 

I say "Bah!" for a couple of reasons..... 1.  I don't do enough welding to bother and 2. How much better can a welding jacket be than my old work coat????

I found out today!

As I was laying under the car welding away, a piece of red hot metal fell and melted its way through my jacket.... leaving a big hole in the sleeve..... a nice sized brand on my arm.... and a really scratchy part on the coat (the coat melted like plastic and then solidified again)

Point taken:  Maybe I do need a welding jacket!

But then......

I was using my angle grinder to cut some 14 gauge metal.  I have done this a lot of times including about 6 times that day.... all without incident.  This time though, as the sparks were flying around, I thought to myself, "Hmmm - that feels warmer than normal!"

I look down and I AM ON FIRE!!!!  Not a little tiny fire!!!!  Like stuntman in a movie on fire!!!!  Like "Stop, drop and roll" on fire!!!! 

So I drop the grinder and start jumping up and down slapping my side trying to put myself out.  Though is not a very good picture, here is the end result.....

OK - it wasn't "Chicago fire of 1871" big...... or California wildfire big.....  but, believe me, it was big enough.

Some of you may remember that several years ago when Sara was gone, I stuck my finger in a motorcycle to check the oil (because there was none on the dipstick) and then I could not get my finger out again!  My cell phone was 15 feet away on the bench and I had no way of getting help!  I thought I was going to die of starvation before I got myself free....  to relive that glorious moment, click here

Then, today, I catch myself on fire and almost die.

Obviously, here is only one conclusion to be made here.....  Sara needs to stop going away for the weekend!  :)

PS.  Honey..... if you read this.... I bet Princess Auto has some nice welding jackets for cheap!  Hint, hint!!!!

The real signs of Spring (Blog 17 of 30)

Forget groundhogs.... and weather forecasts.... equinox dates.... or whatever the "Old Farmer's Almanac" says.   Here are the three signs that spring is near.

1.  The first sighting of men with greasy hands digging through boxes of parts at the "Estevan Antique Auto Club Swap Meet" - which takes place this Saturday.

2.  The arrival of the "Majestics Car Club" show in Regina (April 21-22)!  In a ritual as old as time itself (or since about 2007), I have crammed as many guys as I can into my buddy Dennis' truck and we have taken in this glorious event filled with shiny paint and chrome bumpers. 

3.  The last and best sign....... cars on the track at the "Estevan Motor Speedway".  EMS is by far the best kept secret in town and one of my very favourite places.  If you have never been to a race there, you owe it to yourself to go.  Honestly, being involved with this club is one of the things that keeps me in Estevan.  Test and tune is less than 6 weeks away and real racing starts on May 5th!  Click here to see the full schedule.

Now, you may have noticed that I have overlooked some common signs of spring such as green grass, buds on trees, longer days, snow melting, water running and other insignificant things like that.... but I have done so with good reason:  Those things are sort of fickle and unpredictable.

Mine are on the calendar!  :)
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A few pictures to get you out to the speedway....

Cars packing the track....

Someone posted this shot of me and my buddy Jim.  I think we are having a nice chat!  :)

What I normally see when I am lining up cars....

Double-header Sprint car action this year (June 22-23).  See you there!

What do you mean there is no trap door???? (Blog 16 of 30)

Every year, the Air Cadets in town hold an "Effective Speaking" competition and I have had the privilege of being asked to be a judge for that event a couple of time.

This year, I was asked again, so I began to think about ways to make it more interesting.

My first thought was to go all "American Idol" on it.  Find my tightest white t-shirt, slick my hair back a bit and be a complete jerk to everyone like Simon Cowell used to do.... but then I remembered that I can't do an English accent to save my life (I always end up sounding like Count Dracula - and that would just be confusing), so I tossed that idea.

Then I thought about "The Gong Show".  Does anyone remember this show?  Apparently, it is back on TV, but I vaguely remember the old one from like the late 70s.  If I remember correctly, contestants would come on stage and do whatever it was that they did.... sing, tell jokes, etc..... and the judges would have to listen for a set amount of time. However, after that time passed, if they disliked the performance, they could get up and hit this big gong - which would eliminate the contestant.

I thought that would be a fun way to do things until I remembered that we were not going to have a studio audience yelling, "Gong!!!!! Gong!!!!!! Gong!!!!|"......  and without that - what's the point?

Besides, I can't find my gong anywhere!  I think Sara must have hidden it!

Then I considered giving them the "Preacher reality tour" where I just sit there and fall asleep as they talk..... or start to argue with them right in the middle of their presentation...... or just get up and leave without saying a word (Believe it or not, every one of those things has happened to various preachers that I know.  I have had sleepers - but have been spared the really crazy church stories).

Then I thought about trap doors or ejection seats..... but with the stupid regulations that are in place today and everyone's concerns over personal safety I thought that may not go over very well. 

When I was in jr. high, a couple of kids were goofing around in the gym.... one slammed the other guy's finger in the hinge side of the door..... lopped the end of his pinky right off!!!  No one sued!!!   The newspaper never came around!!!  In fact, buddy just picked up the piece and said, "Cool!" - or something - and that was it.

Well, other than the fact that buddy does not have an end to his finger any more.... but my point is..... the good old days are gone....... so the ejection seat idea was out (though it is an AIR CADETS thing...... I thought it would be appropriate on some level).

In the end, I just went and listened to 5 really nice kids give some really well prepared speeches.  Then they each had to do a speech on the spot based on a topic that we gave them. 

All in all, it was really fun!  The kids were super nice and did a great job and my fellow judges were fun to work with too.  They even gave me a "thank you" present.  I hope they ask me again next year!

My work here is done! (Blog 15 of 30)

Everyone wants to feel like they have left their mark on the world.

Everyone wants to know that their life has counted for something and that their presence made a difference!

Last week, I had a moment that confirmed that I had done something.  I was not present when this moment took place, but hearing about it brought a tear to my eye and a smile to my face none-the-less.

"What is the name of my french toast?"

That one question, eight little words, asked by a little child to a very bewildered volunteer at Sara's breakfast program, told me that I had not passed through this world in vain!

Several years ago, when I started helping at the breakfast program, I was given the job of not only toasting but serving the french toast.  Naturally, I started naming the french toast as I served it to the kids......  "This one's name is Bobby!  You will like him.  He is very nice!"

At first, the kids just stared at me!  Or worse, they would try to look away and not make eye contact with me (sort of like you would do if you were walking down a back alley at night and you came upon someone who was shouting at no one.... "Just keep walking!  Don't look back!!!!!")

But like all heroes, I persevered!!!!  I was not discouraged!!!  I kept naming their french toast whether they wanted me to or not....... that is until Sara told me that I could not serve the french toast anymore!  :(

But then it happened!!!   Last week, some kid broke the silence and asked a nice man, who had absolutely no idea what was going on..... "What is the name of my french toast?"   Right then and there, I knew that - despite the odds - I had won!!!!!   Justice prevailed!!!  Evil was defeated and good was advanced!!! (Ok - maybe that last bit is a little overstated - but you get the idea!)

There is, however, one possible downside to this story:   When our girls were little, Sara used to buy "baby carrots" and every time one of our kids was about to eat one, I would say (in a really high baby-ish voice).... "Don't eat me!!!!!   I am just a baby!!!!!"

Recently, like in the last two years, the girls confessed that they always felt bad for the baby carrots and that it was all the could do to choke them down after that.  In fact, now they cannot see a baby carrot without thinking about them pleading for their lives.

The good news is that therapy is covered under Sara's health benefits, so I am sure they will be fine..... eventually!

The point is:  I made an impression!!!  I left a mark on my kids and now on the french toast kids!!!! 

Granted, this is not Martin Luther King Jr or Gandhi type stuff...... but it is big in its own small way.

I wonder where they are going to put my statue???? 

If you have any good ideas, write to Sara!

I want to be surprised!!!!!!  :)

Ummm - I didn't know that they could read (Blog 14 of 30)

For more than 27 years, I have written a weekly newspaper article and, as you might imagine, I have had more than my share of proofreading mishaps.

From straight out spelling mistakes, to grammatical errors, to simply reading what I thought I wrote rather than what I actually wrote, I feel for people who have to write for a public forum.  Inevitably, you will make a mistake.

It is hard to English!

The other side of that coin, though, is that you become very aware of how other things may be misread.

For example, Sara and I went for a drive today and I saw this sign......

The sign says, "Keep out wild boars" and it made me wonder....

Is that an exclusionary statement?......  "You can let anything else in, but keep out wild boars!"

Is it a warning? ...... "You wild boars keep out!"  (That interpretation caused me to wonder as well..... "If they made the sign for the wild boars, does that mean that they think that wild boars can read?  What if wild boars can read, but their first language is Lithuanian?  Isn't it a little rude to think that they all speak English???"

That sign made me think of my favourite sign..... one that you used to see all the time.  I thought that it was quite rude too.

Then, when I was searching the Internet for that example, I found this.......

So maybe I am not alone in my humour!

I bet the wild boars liked that one too!
____________________________
And a bonus bit...... I am not sure how well you can see it, but the trees down at the North Portal golf course were covered in ice.  The sun reflecting through them was beautiful.  Here is an example (you may have to enlarge the picture to see it, or just use your imagination)...

Creating a Canadian Icon (Blog 13 of 30)

Raise your hand if you have been to the Statue of Liberty.

(If you just raised your hand, or even thought about it.... thanks for playing along!  Now, scratch your head or something so you do not look like a crazy person with your hand up for no reason!)

I have never been to NYC other than to fly through, but, for some reason, I woke up at 5:36 this morning and thought, "It is about time we had something like the Statue of Liberty in Western Canada!"

Here is my sleep deprived reasoning on this.....

Most people know that statue was given to the US by France.  It was dedicated in 1886.

The Eiffel Tower was then built for the 1889 World's Fair in Paris.

In other words, in the span of three years, the French had a hand in building and dedicating two of the most iconic, most photographed, most well-known structures on the planet!

But what have they done in the last 129 years?  Nothing, that is what!

As well, many people know that Gustave Eiffel built the iron structure for the statue and, of course, for the tower that bears his name.  Seems like that dude got stuff done!

Now, you can't tell me that there is not one energetic welder name Gustave in all of France anymore!  There just has to be!   Find him and let's get going!!!  Here is my plan.....

We need something like the Statue of Liberty here in Estevan!

Why Estevan?

Well.... we are situated near the border, so our statue could welcome people to the country just like Liberty does. 

Estevan has a waterway.... Long Creek flows into Boundary Dam not 10 miles south of town.... so our statue could stand on its own island, just like theirs.  Very majestic!

The only thing we would have to do is make a few changes so that ours more Canadian.

Maybe instead of a torch, ours holds up a coffee cup.

Instead of a tablet in her other hand, a box of Tim Bits.

Instead of a broken chain at her feet, a hockey bag.

Change the inscription to something shorter and easier to understand like "How's it goin', eh?"

Now, I am not saying that this is the final design..... in fact, I am not even saying that it is a good idea..... I am just telling you what went through my head at 5:37 this morning.

Ps.  If you happen to know anyone in France named Gustave, let me know!

Sara is trying to brainwash me (Blog 12 of 30)

I am not sure what is going on, but if something happens to me, point the police to this post!

I think Sara is trying to brainwash me!!!!

For weeks, even months now, she has been insisting that I read a book called "At Home in Mitford".  It is about a preacher who lives in a small town..... and get this..... the preacher's name is Tim!!!!!   TIM!!!!!   Come on!!!!!  (Not so subtle, hey????)

Until last week, I resisted.  I made up all kinds of excuses. At one point, I even pretended to be temporarily blind..... but then she caught me watching the Maple Leaf game on TV and the jig was up.  

Fearing for my life....... I decided that I better start reading the book.   

From what I have gathered so far, I believe that she could be trying to influence me to......

1.  Move to a small town.  She loves small towns.... the book is set in a small town.... but that one seems a little too obvious

2.  Get a dog.  On like the third page, preacher Tim takes in a stray dog and it changes his life for the better!  Interestingly, today, totally out of the blue, Sara casually mentioned how much she misses Murphy...... hmmmm!  Coincidence????  Maybe....or not!!!!

3. Start gardening.  The preacher in the book is fond of flowers and has a big garden.  As you probably know, Sara loves flowers.....  

4. Be super nice to everyone!  The preacher in this story listens to everybody, smiles all the time and never, ever "loses his nut" about anything  (Hnmm.... Maybe I should pay attention to that one).

5.  Some other 5th thing that I am not catching on to yet!

On the positive side, the preacher in the story rides a scooter...... so that bodes well for me keeping my motorcycle.

Bottom line:  I have no idea what kind of subversive, crazy, underhanded evil mind game she is trying to play with me here.......

So, I am reading the book..... but I am doing so VERY suspiciously!!!!    (Remember, I grew up on the east end of Moose Jaw!!!  I know how to watch my back and protect myself!!!)

I am just saying that if you see me packing a moving van, while walking my new dog over to the garden to talk to my neighbour while smiling, nodding and telling him how much I love listening to all his complaints.......  CALL THE COPS!!!!!  Something really bad has happened!!!

And don't give me that "Sara is too nice to do anything like that to you" stuff.  One, that is what they always say ("She seemed so sweet") and, two.... well, I can't say what "two" is because Sara sometimes reads this blog.  

However, if she IS trying to brainwash me..... "Good Luck!"    She is really going to have to work at it!   

As a great Army General (that I just made up) once said, "It sometimes it takes a huge effort to take over the smallest of spaces"

Fortunately, my brain takes up less space than most!  :)

Well that is interesting (Blog 11 of 30)

It is not every day that you see something like this, so I thought I would share it.

The USS Lexington, an aircraft carrier that was hit and then scuttled on May 8, 1942, was located this past weekend.  It was found more than 800 kilometres off Australia's east coast about 3000 metres (or almost 2 miles) under the surface.

You can see the name on the ship..... airplanes scattered about..... guns on the deck.  It is a very interesting and sobering reminder.

No jokes today.  Click on the picture for the full story.

A secret about Men - Shhhhhhhh!!!!!! (Blog 10 of 30)

Ladies (I assume some ladies read this blog), I am about to tell you secret about men.

Now, I am not authorized to share this information.  Therefore, if you quote me, or show this post to other males, I will deny ever having met you.... I will pretend not to be able to speak English .....and I may even play dead - assuming the fetal position for the next 3 months.

It is that serious!!!!

Why am I sharing this secret if doing so puts me at such risk?

I am just trying to help!  Many disagreements and fights between men and women are based on simple miscommunication or misunderstandings.... so I want to clear up a misconception and debunk a theory that has existed for years.

Besides..... I know the truth and it is eating me up inside!!!!!!!!!

Are you ready?

Men LOVE snowblowers!!!!!!

There...... I said it!!!!

Men love snowblowers like little kids love candy!!  Snowblowers are simply big toys for big men!!!!  Watching that snow arc up into the air and land 40 feet away does something for our tiny brains..... something that I cannot even describe..... but it is good!!!!  It is like creating your own mini-snowstorm after the real snowstorm!!!

Now, why exactly do you need to know this???? 

Well - men like to pretend that snowblowing is a chore.... that is is nothing but a pain.  They complain about the "Stupid Snow!!!"   They make a big production about having to put on all their stuff just to go out in the cold and move all that "Stupid snow!!!"   They gripe about not living in Florida where they do not get this "Stupid snow!!!!"

But it is all a ploy..... an attempt to make you feel sorry for them so that you will bake them a pie or something...... and all the while they are having a great time!!!

Don't believe me?   Consider this......

1.  Guys always say stuff like, "Well I went and ran the snowblower down the whole block, because - you know - once you are dressed you might as well just keep going!" 

Have you ever heard one single guy say that about mowing the lawn????   "Well ya it was 100 in the shade, but I had the mower out anyway so I just went and did 10 extra yards!"   Not a chance!!!!!  Why??????    Because lawn mowers do  not throw grass clippings 30 feet in the air - that is why!!!   If they did, men would be more interested.

2.  My mom sent me this picture today.

That is her husband snowblowing the deck!!!  Now, I guarantee you that it took a lot more work and effort to get that snowblower on the deck than it would have to just shovel the thing off....... so why did he do this?????  Well - if snowblowing is fun on the ground, consider how much more fun it is when you are 3 feet off the ground!   

I even know guys who have taken their snowblower up on the roof of their house!!  Don't believe me?

What woman in her right mind would even consider that????  Why would a guy do it????  Because it is fun!!!!

DO NOT BE FOOLED!!!!!  MEN LOVE THEIR SNOWBLOWERS!!! 

So the next time your man pouts and whines about having to go move snow - don't fall for it.

And if you ever do find a man who hates snowblowers.... get him to a doctor immediately because there is something seriously wrong with him!

But - you didn't hear that from me!!!!

Happy Unspecified Something Day (Blog 9 of 30)

(In keeping with the Privacy Policy enacted against me by my employer - otherwise known as Sara - this blog post has been redacted in order to protect the identity and privacy of those involved)

On a day somewhat close to this one, a certain, unspecified number of years ago, something wonderful happen to Sara and me (or to just one of us or possibly to someone else entirely)

We were living somewhere on the North American continent thinking that our lives were full of good things and then something even better came along.  We were blessed with a tiny, beautiful, smiley, wonderful small human.  While I am not at liberty to disclose this human's gender, I can confirm that it was either a boy or a girl!

We were very pleased!   I would post a picture of this human, but to do so would put me in violation of the privacy policy as I have not secured the media release necessary to put this person's image on this blog.  Doing so could result in me losing my internet privileges.

Therefore, in conclusion, please join with me in wishing "Happy unspecified special day" to someone very specific who will remain unnamed at this time!

(This post brought to you by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.  Making Canada..... something..... again!)
________________________
Actually, this blog is meant to say Happy Birthday to Katie.  We have always said that our two girls were our best blessings and today is a good day to remember that!

I won't even start to try to explain what we feel or to tell the stories because there are simply too many.  Instead, let me share with you one my favourite Katelyn videos.

About 11 years ago, we had a ton of snow.  In particular, we had a ton of snow out in the badlands behind our house.  One day I decided to do some cliff jumping and Katie decided that she wanted to try too.....  here is the result

I like this video because...... (a) Katie always wants to try new things, (b) She didn't get angry or upset and (c) the part you don't see is that she climbed back up the hill and did it again - this time without falling on her face!

We love you, baby!  And we are proud of you!  Happy Birthday!  :)

Well, we had fun anyway! (Blog 8 of 30)

Every year, for the past 28 years or so, our summer Bible camp has held a fundraising curling bonspiel and for 28 years or so I have lost badly!

I have taken buddies - and lost!

I have stacked teams with the best players I know - and lost!

I have curled with Sara and the girls - and lost!

I once got beat by a guy and three little girls.  He was a really good curler.  His two daughters and a niece, who were all about 12 years old.  The kids would sit in the hack with both hands on the rock and - try as they might - they could not come up with enough force to throw their rock through the house.  Therefore, every one of their rocks, every end, was in play.  Then the good curler guy would come down and knock one of their rocks in, or hide behind something.... they killed us!!!  It was my most embarrassing (but funny) defeat to date!

So this year I decided to go with a different plan.  I went with some good friends and decided to just have a good time..... and that is exactly what we did.  Not only that, but we won a game and scored enough points in the games that we lost that we ended up in the A-side semi-finals....... where we were crushed by a team much much better than us.

But we had fun and it was a great day! 

Back When I Used to be Awesome! (Blog 7 of 30)

You know that you are getting old when every story you have is about how great you used to be.

With that in mind, have a look at these pictures that I found at my mom's last summer. I think that I am about 12 years old.  Here is the back story....

The city decided that they were going to cut off a gravel road that went down into a valley by our house, so they put a big pile of dirt at the bottom..... and, from the top of the hill, that dirt that looked an awful lot like a ramp!

My brother, Lenny (not his real name), went down the hill first, came to the pile of dirt and then rode over it quite slowly just to see what it was like. Then he yelled up the hill to me, "The jump looks really good!  Pedal hard and hit it as fast as you can!"

So I did!

By the time I thought, "Maybe this is not a good idea" it was too late.  I launched off the jump higher than I had ever been before.... then the trouble started.  I was going to land nose first on the front tire with the back tire still way up in the air.  I tried to lean backwards but there was no saving it.  I went flying over the handlebars.  The bike went tumbling one way and I went the other.

As I laying on the gravel, hands stinging and knees bleeding, Lenny came over and said, "Ummm - maybe you should not hit it quite that fast next time!"

Over the next several weeks, we kept trying the jump until we mastered it.... and then we took the camera out to capture ourselves in all our Evel Kneivel glory.

A couple of things to note.......

1.  We are a long way from anywhere here.  If we hurt ourselves, which was pretty much inevitable, there was no help in sight.

2.  Safety first - that was our motto - which is why I am wearing my CSA approved Trucker's Cap

3.  Painting your motocross bike was the way to make it super cool - just like you! 

Sadly - these are the only pictures I have otherwise I would also tell about how we used to....

-  Tie a rope to a 10-speed and then get on a skateboard and have the bike rider pull us as fast as he could down a hill and around a corner by our house - with no safety gear at all (that was fun until our friend Heath wiped out on the pavement and was just one big scab from head to toe for the next three months)

- Walk out on the ice in the spring to see how thin it was....we liked the cracking sound.... until I fell in up to my neck.... then could barely get out..... then had to walk all the way home.... by the time I got there I could barely move my fingers I was so cold.... then our next door neighbour saw me and gave us a 5 minute speech about how stupid we were and how we could have died (good times!)

Or about how we told our mom that we were going to go play in the gavel pit a mile from home and instead rode out 10 speed bikes 20 miles to Buffalo Pound Provincial Park.... we did not call her to tell her where we were.... we did not take food or water..... we were gone so long that she thought we got buried in a rock slide at the gravel pit and she had half the neighbourhood looking for us.  Our uncle even put off going on vacation because of us. 

You can imagine the reception we got when we eventually showed up.  :(

Man - I used to be awesome!