Blog 8: Pumpkin Stuff

The girls did pumpkins this year..... here is the before picture.

The after with Megan's Harry Potter themed one, then Sari's nerd one and Katelyn's compass

 And lit up......

We ended up with 86 which is about average for us.  How many kids came to your door?????

Blog 7: All good things come to an end...

It is unspeakable sadness and regret that we announce the passing of our dearly loved and always cherished popcorn maker.... Percy!

Percy had an amazing life!  Adopted by us after our friend Rhonda found him at a garage sale (She knew we had one just like him and thought that he would fit right in... which he most certainly did) he spent the last 10 years or so faithfully making sodium laced snacks whenever asked.

Oh sure, he got a little overheated at times - sometimes you could not even go near him he was so hot - but he always cooled down and went back to being the useful guy that he normally was.

Some pointed out that he got "cranked" easily and that he liked to mix things up.... but he was just trying to keep others from getting burnt.  He may have been a little crusty too, but that is what gave him his unique flavor.

Percy was a well-oiled machine (Canola oil mostly) who never liked the spotlight but preferred to live most of his life in the bottom of the cupboard by the stove.

Even when it was obvious that the end was near.... he had both gear and handle stabilization surgery within the past two years..... he continued to serve (mostly popcorn of course).

We now begin the search for a new "Percy" knowing in our hearts that he can never really be replaced...... he may, however, be able to be recycled (I need to check into this).

RIP Percy!  We will miss you!

(Editor's note:  No we did not really name our popcorn popper "Percy".... he was only given a name to make him seem more personable and lovable for this silly article.  We aren't freaks ya know!)   :)

Blog 6: Ooops.... Beware of Bulk Barn.... Some Editor's Notes

The Ooops:  In yesterday's blog I was complaining about a telemarketer that did not seem to know the meaning of "Last chance".... then one of our friends pointed out that I was just as incompetent because I had two "Blog 4"s in a row.

I think that made the blog even more funny!!!  :)
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The Guest:  I have been bugging other members of our family to write or post pictures or something on here..... so here is the eldest daughter proving that her Dad is not the only one who does silly things that ought not to be shared.... but are anyway.  :)
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The M&M Mistake

I have always liked mini m&ms more than regular m&ms. The mini ones have just the right amount of chocolatey flavour that makes your mouth water and forces you to drain the entire tube of mini m&ms into your mouth in less than three minutes flat. The only problem is that the mini ones are a huge rip off in comparison to regular sized m&ms. You pay more for less chocolate and you are left with a plastic tube that will never biodegrade in a million years.

So you can imagine my excitement this evening when I was wandering the aisles of Bulk Barn when I found an entire barrel of mini m&ms! I thought it would be perfect, buy in bulk and get more bang for my buck. In my excitement I may have gotten a little carried away as I dumped three heaping scoops into my plastic bag thinking I could fill an empty container I had at home. But I wanted to be sure not to only fill the container halfway, so using my best estimating skills I added an extra half scoop just for good measure.

Here’s the thing about buying in bulk, in order to actually get a deal one really should pay attention to how much you are being charged per 100 grams. But even more importantly I would highly recommend actually weighing your bag before heading to the till.

I carried my bulging bag up to the till and was thinking about how wise I was being, getting way more m&ms for my money, saving the environment, and getting a ton of m&ms without looking like I had an excessive problem. That was until the cashier rang me through and asked,

“Baking a cookies this weekend?”

I was tempted to tell her that was my plan and hide the fact that I was going to gorge myself on m&ms but instead I took the moral high ground and told her that I liked to buy them in bulk so I didn’t create so much plastic waste. If I was going to stand by my m&m addiction at least I could make it look like I was an upstanding citizen.

“That’ll be $22.31”

WHAT?!?!?! EXCUSE ME?!?!?! HOW MUCH?!?!?!?! Time seemed to stand still for a moment as the cashier turned and looked at me expectantly waiting for me to choose my payment method. My university student on a fixed income brain kicked into overdrive! That’s four trips to Starbucks! That could buy me an entire novel or pay for a whole movie!!

Now a normal, mature adult would take charge of the situation, realize that is a ludicrous amount to be spending on m&ms and go dump half of the bag back in the barrel. But who ever said anything about me being a mature or even normal person? And this whole adult thing is really still a new concept. So what did I do……?

Panic paid and bolted.

So now I have enough m&ms to last me until I’ve graduated from university. What did this whole experience teach me? Did it teach me to be assertive? Did it teach me to compare rates between items before purchasing them? Did it teach me self-control? Did it show me I have a problem??

No, what I learned tonight is that buying in bulk is a scam!!!! Don’t do it!!! This public service announcement brought to you by Katelyn Pippus!

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I told her that she should have just looked at the clerk and said, "WHAT??? $22 of M and Ms is nothing!  That is how we roll in Estevan!"... all "Straight Outta Compton" like.

Or she freaked out...... "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!! DON'T JUDGE ME!!!  I GOTS A PROBLEM!!!!" - drop the bag - run out crying without paying (what are they gonna do - chase you down???)

Or she could have tried taking them back.... "Ummm ya.... I thought these would work but they aren't the right size...... they are a little snug!  And they clash with the paint in my room....  So do I get my $22 in cash or do you put it back on my card..... like????"

Worst of all our buddy Jen was with her and witnessed the whole thing.  I said that she should have tackled Katelyn, took the bag and explained.... "Now sweetie y'all know you aren't allowed to spend money when you haven't been taking your medication..... $22 worth of candy at the Bulk Barn.... off her meds obviously!!!"   Then add..... "We have been trying to let her make her own decisions.... obviously it is still a bit too soon!"

Sadly, none of that happened and no one rescued her.

PS.  Katelyn.... "$22 is 4 trips to Starbucks!"...... or it is like 15 trips to "Tim Horton's" and you don't have to talk in a ridiculous second language to order there.  Just saying!  :)

Blog 4: I Wish it was!

Answering machine light is blinking when I get home..... press play.......

"This is your last chance to have your credit card interest lowered.  Press one to take advantage of this special, limited time offer......"

Delete.

Next day..... push play on answering machine.......

"This is your last chance to have your credit card debt lowered.  Press one......"

Delete.

Three hours later..... press play......

"This is your last chance......."

Delete.

Now, I have a couple of issues with this.......

1.  We have virtually no credit card debt to begin with so a lower rate is not really going to help that much.

2.  The bigger issue:  Who in their right mind would turn over their financial information s to a company that does not seem to understand the meaning of "Last chance"????    HOW CAN I GET 8674389678947369743690786 LAST CHANCES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS GREAT OFFER??????   By my calculations, I missed the boat a long time ago!   Let it go, man!!!!  It is over!!!!  NO ONE IS EVER PRESSING ONE!!!!!!!

All of that reminds me of this......

Blog 4: For better or worse

Below is my new project vehicle.  A 1974 Dodge Dart Swinger.

My brother Lenny is selling it and I was sort of interested.... but I talked myself out of it. 

Then my lovely wife wrote to Lenny behind my back and said "We will take it!"

So there you go.... Merry Christmas to me. 

As Lenny said, "Merry Christmas..... here is 3 years of frustration for you!" 

I am looking forward to it.  :)

Blog 3: A Small World and Gross!!!!

Two kid stories tonight....

Many years ago, when I first moved here there was a young family in the church that I hung out with a lot.  They had four little kids that I liked very much.

One day when I was at their house, the youngest (who will remain nameless to protect the innocent) was watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon in which Bugs dressed up like Elmer Fudd and knocked on the door of his house.  When Elmer opened the door, he thought that the person standing there was his "Uncle Louis" and said (in his Elmer accent)....  "Well, if it isn't Uncle Wooie".   The youngest boy in the family thought that this was really funny (he was about 2 at the time) so I started calling him "Wooie".  In fact, until they moved away several years later (and beyond) I never used his real name... he was Wooie!

Fast forward about 20 years or more...... As part of one of Katelyn's courses, she has to spend some hours volunteering in Regina, so she chose an outreach centre that works with those who need some help.  I will give you one guess who she is working with..........  :)

I challenged her to walk in the first day - having never met this guy in her life - and go "Wooie!!!!" just to see what would happen.

Well talked to him today and told him that she was supposed to call him Wooie. Apparently he seemed confused for a minute but then he got it.  :)

It is a small world really.
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The Megan story is one you may not want to follow right to the end especially if you are a bit squeamish......

For years, Megan has been interested in "Movie make-up" type stuff.  She watches shows where people create costumes and she has even tried creating some of her own stuff.  So when she heard that the public library was putting on a "Halloween make-up" thingy bobber...... she had to go..... here is the result (Remember, I warned you.........)

Have a good week!  :)

Blog 2: Sunday night and comedians

For me, Sunday night is the most mentally relaxing time of the week.  Why?  Because I am as far away from having to speak to a group as I can be this week.  I have almost seven full days before I have to have come up with hours of things to say.

Don't get me wrong!  I love what I do (Especially after a good day like today).  It is just that it is a taxing process to come up four or more lessons each and every week.  Well.... it is a process to come up with four "decent" and "interesting" lessons anyway.  I could just get up and shoot from the hip and fill the time, but it if is going to be thought out, useful and interesting then it is going to take some work.

That is why I like watching comedians.  Sara and I have seen Jerry Seinfeld in person and he was great!  We have seen Brent Butt (from "Corner Gas") a couple of times.  I have watched countless "Just for Laughs" TV shows and other comedy specials because I am impressed with what they do.  In fact, I have a Seinfeld documentary that shows him working on a new act..... and it takes forever!  He will work on one 20 second joke for weeks trying to get just the right word, the right timing and the right approach.  They make it look easy and fun, but there is a ton of stuff that goes on behind the scenes that no one ever sees or knows.  In fact, it if looks easy, then you know that they have worked hard.

Along that line, I want to recommend one of my favorite radio shows: "The Debaters".  It is basically a couple of comedians making jokes regarding a given topic.  If you need a laugh (and have about a half hour), click here and check it out (Usually they are very clean but I have heard them all, so as always it is "Enter at your own risk!")

Have a great week!

Blog 1 of 30: A Good Day

Sari was busy doing some paperwork applying for a grant on behalf of a group that she volunteers with, Megan was enjoying a rare day off and Katie did not come home this weekend, so that left me basically free all day..... So I spent it working in the garage. 

Both Megan's and my truck got an oil change and greased up.....  I took the battery out of my motorcycle and brought it into the house so it does not freeze.... then I moved stuff around so that I could park the bike in the corner for winter.  Stuff has to placed in just the right place so that I can get two motorcycles, a snowblower, both vehicles and all my other junk in the garage over the winter.  No point in having a garage if you can't park in it..... In the process,  I sorted and tossed some junk.... I recycled the old oil and then played a little with one of my old motorcycles.

It was a great day!  I love doing maintenance and tinkering on our vehicles... at least I do when things go well (it has not always... I have had incidents like breaking the carburetor on my 1979 Ford truck while trying to change the fuel filter - to mention one).  Some days, playing in the garage is exactly what I want to do.... and today was one of those days.

Then I came inside and watched both the Riders and the Leafs get clobbered!!

Oh well!  I guess expecting a perfect day is a little much.
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You may have noticed that I have started a new round of "30 Blogs in 30 Days" and you may wonder "Why bother numbering them???"

Well, I find that if I do not have a stated goal then it is easy just to not bother.

A  buddy told me one time:  "If you want to do something, tell someone else.  That way it is harder to quit because someone will ask you about it".

So I am going to commit to writing every day (give or take) for the next month.

I hope you commit to coming back to read this stuff once in a while (otherwise it is sort of pointless)

Blog 30: Weiser Lock you are on the clock!

Our house has Weiser locks on it that look like the one above (with the exception that our house has keyed locks and not bathroom locks like the one above because that would just be stupid!).

Yesterday, I put the key in the lock on the front door and turned it but nothing happened.  Further investigation revealed that the inside of the locking mechanism was worn out, so I bought a new lock today.

When I got that lock home, I noticed that the packaging said that these locks have a lifetime mechanical warranty.  It said to call the 1-800 number if you wanted more info.

Here is my conversation with the Weiser Lock Girl.

Ring,..... "Your call is extremely important to us.  Please choose from the following options.... if you would like service in English, press one.  If you are calling regarding a warranty issue, press 9..... if you were born on a Sunday, press seven.... if your mother's first name rhymes with a State other than Kansas or Wisconsin, press 4.  If her name rhymes with Kansas or Wisconsin, please leave a voice message and tell us her name because we cannot think of any that would work......." (and on and on and on).

After literally 45 minutes of elevator music and being reassured that I was really important to them, I finally get to speak to the Weiser Lock Girl (from now one referred to as "WLG")

WLG:  Hi my name is Lorraine.... for shipping purposes can I get your mailing address (Seriously, first question.... not what is your name.... what is your problem.... How may I help you???  I guess I am glad that they are eager to ship stuff to me but.....)

So I gave her the information.

WLG:   What is your name.

I tell her.... I tell her again.... I spell both of my names (including the "TIM" part) THREE TIMES!!!

WLG:  OK, Mr, TIPPUS (????) can I get an email address?

I give her our home address..... FOUR TIMES,,,,,, she kept insisting that there were more "T"s and less "P"s in our name than there ought to be..... and she also tossed in a "Q" without the "U" which I thought was creative but unnecessary.

WLG:  What is your Zodiac sign?

By this time I am tired of answering odd questions so I say, "Look! My front door lock broke.  It is from your 'Elements' line.  It has warranty.  What do I do?"

WLG:  What colour is the lock?

I tell her that it is two toned..... silver and gold (like the one in the picture above).

WLG:  Sir, we don't sell ANY two coloured locks!

Me:  Umm.... yes you do!  I have two of them on my house and I just bought one at the local hardware store..... they had 50 of them with your name on them.

WLG:  Well.... I am not calling you a liar..... We just make ANY locks like that!

Me:  Ummm..... I am willing to bet that you do!

WLG:  Can you give me the product code off the package?

I do this....... EIGHTEEN TIMES!!!!!    It seems that numbers higher than 6 confuse her a bit.

WLG:  Ooooohhhhh!!!!  Good news!!!   We DO make that lock!!!!

Me:  No kidding??!!! ,,,,,,,,,   Ok - so what do I do?  Can I get a replacement one from the hardware store or do I have to deal with you?

WLG:  No, we deal with it.  I will send you an email with a link in it that will allow you to upload a picture of the old one - just to prove you own one (Editor's note:  Because there is no way I could have gone on the internet and copied a picture like.... say..... THE ONE AT THE TOP OF THIS POST AND SENT IT IN .... it is a foolproof plan!!).  Once we get that picture from you we will sent you a completely new lock.

Me:  How long will this take?

WLG:  Exactly as long as this call has lasted..... about a week (Ok, she did not actually say that first part but she could have as it was accurate).

Bottom line:  I got the link, took the picture, uploaded it and returned the actual lock that I bought at the hardware store (the guy there was very proud of me for claiming a free one and returning his.... seemed quite jovial about the whole thing actually..... maybe he knows I am not ever getting a lock in the mail and that I will have to come back and buy his lock anyway..... which he just now raised the price on).

So the wait is on.   Will this work or should I have just paid my money and forgot about it?

Time (and the Weiser Lock Girl) will tell!  (But she will not spell it properly)  :)
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By the way, we have crossed the "30 Blogs in 30ish days" barrier (I started on Sept 22 so I am almost right on).  Anyway, it  has been so much fun we are going to keep going.  So check back for daily updates....

Blog 29: Life long buddies

Not too much to report from today, so I will share this picture of Megan and a couple of her buddies.  They have been in school together from the start.  The picture was taken last night by a friend of ours at the grad meeting.

Blog 28: This is happening (again!)

On "Back to the Future" day, this day has arrived.  The first of the "Grad planning" meetings.

Two years ago it was Katelyn and now Megan. 

To be honest, I like grad.  Not because I like kids growing up and leaving home (I HATE that part), but because it is fun to celebrate a big milestone in life with them.  Katelyn's grad was a great day and I expect that Megan's will be too.

One of the reasons that it is so much fun is that they get to share it with a lots of good buddies.  Katie and Megs had/or have great friends in High School.  Some of them have been buddies since they were in kindergarten together.  That is really rare, but very nice. 

Going to the meeting tonight and seeing people that we have known for years and years is a cool thing too.  I have no idea how some preachers and their families move every 4 or 5 years.  There is no way I could do it!  I like the sense of community that comes with being in the same place for a long time.

I am sure there will be tears... both happy and sad.... but grad is coming so we may as well enjoy it.

We have enjoyed every other thing about having these sweet girls around, so why not this part too?

Post 27: I am thankful for......

It is easy to forget to see your blessings, so tonight I am thankful for.....

Ok..... two things.....

1.  No that is not my garage (though it would be nice).

2.  I know that I should be writing about my wife or my kids or the fact that I live in a free country or the miracle of how they get the caramel in the Caramilk bar (how do they do that anyway???  However that happens, it is super yummy!)...... but, tonight, I am thankful for my garage.

I used to lay in the snow in the middle of the winter so that I could change oil in our vehicles.

I used to fix lawnmowers while sitting in the grass in the backyard (I spent more time looking through the grass for the parts that I dropped than I did working on the mower).

And then - about 8 years ago - Sari gave me a garage door opener for Christmas..... so we had to build a garage to put it in.

Today it was rainy, cold and miserable outside.  I came home, changed my clothes, went out to the garage, cranked the radio and spent a couple of happy hours changing the brakes on our SUV.  Even the fact that I have floor jacks and tools and all that other stuff is really nice because I used to just dream about that stuff.

Now, someone will read this and say, "Well, that was sort of stupid" and if you think that this is really an "Ode to my garage" then it is a little dumb.

But it isn't!

Rather it is a reminder to see the things that you take for granted every day.  If your 21 year old self could time travel and see where you are today - for most of us - he or she would be really surprised.

The trick is to remember that you have some blessing that are worth noticing and being happy about. It is too easy to complain about what you do not have.

Have a great week!  :)

Blog 26: Voting and wa????

,

I like elections!  I like the whole process of voting and watching the results come in.  I am not naive enough to think that politics or politicians are going to change the world (it would be nice but in reality the situation that we are in sort of dictates what we do rather than the ideologies of the parties), but I still like the process.

In fact, I even like the "feeling" of voting.  There is something about participating in something that is bigger than yourself... something community oriented (or something like that). 

Anyway, I am not as crazy as some of my friends who are hosting "Election parties" complete with food, election-based games and endless analysis, but I am still super interested in the various ideas and approaches.

Elections are fun!

Good thing we are likely going to have a minority government!  Maybe we can have all this fun again in a few months!!!!  :)
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In other news:  I received a call today from someone saying that they were from the high school.  Apparently, they were trying to send us some super important information but they did not have our proper email address. 

So I gave them our home address......... and then...... NOTHING CAME!!!!!  (duh duh dah!!!!!)
So now I am thinking that it wasn't actually someone from the high school at all!!!! 

Maybe it was the paparazzi trying to get a bead on me.  Maybe I am gonna end up on the cover of the "National Enquirer".  (If I am, I hope it is not one of those "Look how bad this swimsuit looks on him" type pictures.  I am not sure whether my ego could take that!)

Or maybe it was a long lost Mafia connection trying to settle a score with my family.   Admittedly she sounded super nice and nothing like the Godfather dude.... but that could have been a clever cover to throw me off. 

Either way, something is happening!!!!!

And the girls tell me that I am stupid for closing the living room curtains at night so that the snipers can't get a clear shot at us.

Who looks stupid now?????  :)

Blog 25: She gets around

Look who is on my computer today!  Sari doing an interview at the Estevan United Way Telethon regarding the Hillcrest Breakfast program.

Blog 24: Last home game

Megan's soccer team played their last home game of the season today.  They played against Yorkton.  Here are a couple of pictures..... with a couple of things that you can't see (continued below)

So what can't you see?  Well......

1.  Megan.  She is out there somewhere.... maybe.  She was playing on the other side of the field and I did not have our good camera with me - just my phone - so it is hard to tell (Pick someone and pretend it is Megan.... Estevan is in blue!)

2.  How cold Sari was..... she froze to death down there.  Granted, it was cold (like 5 degrees) but she was super cold.  Why can't they play soccer in June?  Or Florida?????

Blog 23: I am all for being thorough but.....

Here is a screen shot of the weather on the news tonight....

Can anyone tell me why we have to have individual temperature readings and forecasts for every little town in Saskatchewan?   Would it not be quicker and just as effective to say "If you live in the south part of the province, it is going to be about 11 degrees"?   Is that one degree less in Melville (top right) really going to be that noticeable or make that much difference? 

"Hey Mable, I was going to go down to the hospital and donate a kidney just in case someone needed one, but that was when I thought it was 11 degrees outside.  Now that I realize it is only 10, I am staying home and sitting by the fire instead!"

Maybe we don't need to be quite so thorough.  :)

Blog 22: The time has come and a mystery solved

That, boys and girls, is how far I rode my motorcycle this summer.  Took the plates off today.  It is over for another year.

It was a decent riding season for me.  I went to Moose Jaw a couple of times.... got to go to the Black Hills again (always fun).... hit a couple of stock car tracks in North Dakota..... rode up to the Big Eagle race in Manor.... I even got to ride it to camp so that I could teach at "Boys week".  The best part..... I hardly froze to death at all!!!  No..... check that..... I froze on the way to MJ once and back the second time.... froze in the Black Hills for a few days (in torrential downpours).... I froze a few days going to and from work.... but overall I froze less this year than last so I am counting that as a win!

Come to think of it I actually rode a little more than 7000 kms because I put several hundred kms the 1980 Honda that I fixed up and sold... so there you go.

Anyway, the riding days were getting fewer and farther between so it was time to pull the pin..... till next year!

In other news:  A mystery has been solved.  I received a phone call this morning from this guy......

Well - not from him exactly (How would he ever dial the phone with those fingers.... not to mention the fact that he does not speak which makes telephone conversations really awkward)...... anyway I found out who it was that was "Saying Hi" to me at the hockey game the other night (see post below).

I can't say much more other than "It was really funny!"   If you see Bruno at the hockey game, give him a hug for me!  :)

Blog 21: Too Thankful to Blog

Our weekend has been very nice..... family, friends, food, fun and yard work (ok.... one of those things doesn't, but you get the idea).

Anyway, I was going to blog a great big Thanksgiving thing, but then all four of us were home tonight and we just spend the evening hanging out together..... and that was the best thing of all.

We have much to be thankful for..... we just have to have open eyes to see it.

(PS.  I was very thankful for turkey on Saturday.... I was still thankful for it on Sunday..... I was a little less thankful for it two times today...... I would be really thankful if you came and got the rest of it!)  :)

Blog 20: Some Sports Questions

Have you seen this guy???

His name is Bruno and he is the Estevan Bruins mascot. On Friday night, I was standing around waiting for the game to start when Bruno came up behind me and started hugging me!  Like awkwardly hugging me.  So, I figured it had to be someone who knew me, so I asked who it was and he/she just walked away without saying anything.

I am not sure what to make of this.  Should I be flattered??  Creeped out????   Maybe Bruno just does not have proper social boundaries????  Maybe, if you are a bear, mauling someone is how you say "hi"???   Maybe he is just lonely.... though he looks perfectly happy in his picture.  Any advice on how to handle this situation would be helpful!

Secondly, I was looking through the program guides for TSN today and saw this.....

TSN3 is airing 2 hours of the University of Kentucky Men's Basketball practice.  WHAT!!!!  Are you kidding me????  This is what I am paying for????? 

I figured it had to be more than that, so I went and checked and..... nope!  It is what it says.... people doing commentary as the team practices.  I should mention that it included a very riveting scene where the coach called all the players together and talked to them for five minutes.... we could not hear it but we got to see it.... and we could hear the commentators speculating as to what they were talking about.  It was really something.

Up next on TSN...... "Washed Up"...... follow the Toronto Maple Leafs Jerseys as they go from the stinky "just worn in a game" pile to the washing machine and then on to the dryer and finally.... wait for it ..... the hangers in the locker room (brought to you by Tide).

Blog 19: I thought I would be well rested

So I have not done anything since playing in a hockey tournament in March.

I did not ride my mountain bike more than twice all summer.

I did not run or swim or play football or baseball..... nothing!!!

So I should have been in great shape to play tennis today right?  Well rested and ready to go!

Well, that is not really the way it turned out.

I started off really slowly.... like super slow.... like "glacier" slow.  That got better as the day wore on, but it was what happened next that worried me.

When I got home, I started to cramp up.  No big deal. I expected to be sore.  However, then I started to feel super tired and sort of sick to my stomach.  I have had this happen before... one time while playing tennis when I did not have anything to drink and became dehydrated.... worst feeling in my life!!!  I thought I was going to die!  In fact, I crawled downstairs to where Megan was just in case I did die (I am not sure what she would have done, but it is nice to have a witness anyway)

Today was not that bad, but close. I did drink a lot, but not enough I guess.  Maybe I should have had something other than water (Poweraide maybe????).

Anyway, thankfully, I was saved by the turkey!!  I was feeling terrible until I started eating "Thanksgiving supper" and that revived me.

So I think I am going to come out with a new energy drink...... "Gravy-aide" (see how it sort of sounds like something else but isn't????  Huh????  No copyright infringement there!)

Or maybe I will just quit exercising altogether.  It's obviously not good for you!

Blog 18: Barn find

To some, this may not seem like much, but to me it is cool!

My brother-in-law Joel knew that I was looking for old motorcycles to restore, so he came to me about 2 years ago and said that he had found one in a barn near Alameda. 

I bought it for $20 and today.........

Now the key here is that it runs (ignore all the smoke and the gauges that are way out of whack..... the smoke is because I dumped some extra oil in the fuel and the gauges.... well I don't know what is going on there)...... the point is that it runs and it even sounds good.

It still needs a ton of work.... the clutch is out of adjustment.... it does not idle that well.... it is covered in grease.... the tires are literally rotting off the thing...... but it runs and moves and that is 80% of the battle (I even took it for a bit of spin around the green space behind the house).

So.... winter project or leave it outside till next summer????  Either way, not a bad $20 investment I would say.

Blog 17: Media day

Our town was featured on the "CTV Hometown tour" tonight.  If you would like to see it, click here.

In other media news..... Our local paper messed up my newspaper article called "The Math of Happiness".  In it I stated that "10% of our happiness comes from circumstances..... another 40% comes from your disposition..... and the REMAINING 60% comes from what you chose to think about".

10 + 40 + 60........ in an article called "The Math of Happiness".  

I would have been happy if they got it right!  (And, yes, I checked and it was not my mistake.  The original is right).

So what do I do?  Do I (a) defend my honour at the risk of making the newspaper people mad or (b) just assume that no one reads stuff that closely so it likely was not noticed and even if it was the point gets across anyway.

Thoughts?

Bonus post

Katie could not remember either of the following articles, so I am sharing them here so that she can see them..... enjoy!  :)
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THE BOAT RIDE
By W. Bruce Cameron
www.wbrucecameron.com

I am a member of that nearly extinct generation of Americans which actually thinks it possible to enjoy a vacation without hours and hours of cable television. I believe that a lake can be fun even if you don't rent jet skis and blast around at high speed, and when I come up with a list of exciting things to do on a trip, "go to the mall" is not likely to be on it, even if they do have factory-outlet stores.

Because of my antediluvian attitude, I have forced my children to suffer through several "horrible vacations," including one just this summer in which my younger teenage daughter "almost drowned."

She didn't almost anything. I took her out in a rowboat by promising her an opportunity for one-on-one quality time with her father, during which the two of us could talk intimately about anything she wanted and then I would pay her twenty dollars.

I know it sounds as if I were bribing her to spend time with me, but in my view, she was going to get the money out of me anyway, "borrowing" it so that she could go shopping later. This loan would join all the others in a non-interest-bearing note which even Enron's accountants would have ethical trouble calling an asset.

Okay, maybe not "ethical" trouble.

At any rate, we rowed along for awhile, enjoying a silence disturbed only by the occasional gurgle when my oar dipped into the water. Then she took me up on my offer to discuss anything she had on her mind, which turned out to be this:

"Can we go back now?"

"We've only been out for five minutes; let's drift for a bit," I suggested.

"I can't believe this boat doesn't have a motor."

"I don't mind rowing. Do you want to try it? It's a lot of fun," I offered seductively.

"No."

"I brought a rod; do you want to try to catch a fish?"

"No."

"What do you want to do?"

"Go back."

"Wouldn't you rather be out here on the lake?"

"No."

It was, I reflected, one of our more pleasant conversations.

"Dad, what's with the water?" She pointed at my feet.

I frowned. A steadily growing pool of water was forming on the bottom of the boat. As a sailor of considerable experience, I immediately recognized we were in the nautical condition known as "sinking."

"The plug fell out," I noted.

"Oh no!" my daughter shrieked.

"Don't be afraid. We won't drown," I assured her.

"These are new shoes!"

"Just put on a life vest." I held one out to her.

She glanced at it disdainfully. "Could they pick a more hideous color?"

"I'll get us back to the dock." I began heaving on the oars, but the boat had gained considerable weight and responded sluggishly. Not wanting my daughter to panic, I decided to distract her with a question. "Well, we seem to be taking on about a gallon a minute.

With every gallon, our speed slows down by about one percent. Our current rate of travel is around a foot a second, and we have a hundred yards to go. How long will it take us to get to shore?"

Her eyes bulged. "The boat is sinking and you want me to do math?

"It's an interesting problem, don't you think?"

"You're making me nauseated."

"You could take that coffee can and bail."

She gingerly picked up a rusting can. "It has dirt in it."

"Right, that's where they keep the earthworms."

She dropped the can. "Ew!"

"But if you bailed a quart of water every ten seconds..."

"If a boat were sinking an inch a minute, how long would it take my dad to realize he's a complete dork?" she wondered out loud.

We didn't sink, but by the time I got us to shore a considerable amount of lake had joined us in the boat. Our pants were soaked, and my daughter couldn't wait to tell her siblings that in the midst of drowning, I insisted on torturing her with algebra.

Also, her shoes were "ruined," so the twenty dollars I gave her would go toward a replacement pair.

She borrowed the rest.

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>From The Cameron Column, a free Internet newsletter:
http://www.wbrucecameron.com/

Copyright 2007 W. Bruce Cameron. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

Blog 16: Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!

One of my favourite columns from one of my favourite writers......  it old but still funny.  Enjoy!  :)

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TURKEY LEFTOVERS
By W. Bruce Cameron

Like many men, I am different from my wife in ways, which are noticeable, and, in my opinion, fortunate. 

Take the Thanksgiving turkey. (And I mean that literally. PLEASE come over to our house, open the refrigerator, shove aside everything growing green fuzz, and take this carcass away before it reincarnates as turkey lasagna or turkey tetracycline or whatever new concoction awaits the family.)  But take Thanksgiving--my wife prefers small birds that fit nicely into the roasting pan and which can be cooked in a few hours. 

"Ha!" I can be quoted as sneering. I trace my own gender lineage to that proud, hairy group of hunter-gatherers who, prior to the invention of TV remote control, would take their spears and go pull down a huge bison for dinner, stopping at the bar on the way home for a couple of cave brews. So when I go to the store for a turkey, I find a TURKEY: a Jurassic, many-pound fowl with drum sticks as large as my thighs and wings you could park a car under. 

Words cannot describe the delight on my wife's face when my neighbors help me carry the bird into the refrigerator, where, following the instructions, it is left to thaw for a period of six months.  (My wife often has several interesting but impractical suggestions on where else we might stick the turkey for this thawing procedure.) Cooking begins around Halloween, a slow roasting process which varies from my mother's recipe in that there are no flames or threats of divorce "if anybody says a word about how the turkey tastes." 

I enjoy every step of turkey preparation, particularly since I am not involved in any of it. Well, that's not entirely true--at one point, I am asked to reach into the mouth of the turkey and retrieve the giblets, which turns out to be a bag of what looks like pieces of Jimmy Hoffa. (I realize I am not, technically speaking, putting my hand in the bird's "mouth," but I'd rather not dwell on what this means.) How the turkey manages to swallow this stuff in the first place is beyond me. Traditionally, we open this bag, dump the contents into a pan of water, and boil the results. Only the cat is happy about this development. 

As wonderful as this all is, by the fourth or fifth night my appetite for turkey variations has waned, and I provide valuable feedback to my wife by making gagging noises at dinner time.  Her verbal (as opposed to projectile) response to this is to imply that it is somehow MY fault we have so many leftovers, to which I logically reply, "hey, YOU cooked it." 

Now, before you men out there become too smug with how adroitly I out maneuvered her with my quick retort, you should be advised that she STILL blames me for our turkey-induced bulimia. Therefore I appeal to my readership: has anyone else noticed bizarre psychiatric spousal reactions to turkey consumption which might explain this whole controversy? Please advise via return e-mail, which will be picked up by the crack WBC technical team and, judging by previous results, forwarded to the Governor of New Jersey. 

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>From The Cameron Column, a free Internet newsletter: 
http://www.wbrucecameron.com/ 

Blog 15: Going all "David Suzuki" on it

Quick..... name the biggest threat to the environment right now!

Did you say "The tar sands"? 

Eeeeeeeeeennnnnntttttttt!!!!!!  Wrong!

Global warming????????

Ha!

Coal fired power plants?????

Not a chance!

The biggest threat to the environment is much more recent..... much closer to home..... much smaller.... and you are part of the problem!!!

The biggest threat to the environment as I see are these things.....

Every time I drive by one of these things someone is sitting there with their car running as they (a) look for their mail key (b) get out to check for their mail or (c) toss their junk mail over the nearest fence (What????   Like I am the only one!).

AND IT IS NICE OUT RIGHT NOW!!!

Think about when it is -40 with a windchill of -34896739486789436894367.  People are going to be lined up around the block for hours with their cars running and their heaters cranked up just waiting for their chance to get to their box so that they can get their latest "Pottery Barn" catalogue (Oh as if you don't look forward to Pottery Barn catalogues).

Anyway, my point is that once January rolls around and everyone is warming their cars up so that they can drive a half a block to sit in their car for an hour until they can get their mail, we are gonna have a major issue. 

The ice cap will be melting like an ice cube in an arm pit...... and David Suzuki will be rolling over in his grave (if he is dead by then).

MARK MY WORDS, CANADA POST!!!!  You will regret the day that you wrecked the earth!!!!

(Disclaimer:  I have some very good friends who work for Canada Post and I just want to clarify that this is an attempt at humour and not really what I think or believe....... please don't stop delivering my "Motorcycle" magazine!!!!)

(Disclaimer #2:  I am not wishing for David Suzuki's death.... I am merely postulating that by January he could be dead - as could we all - and I think that this nightmare of environmentally epic proportions would cause him to roll over in his grave if such a thing were possible.)

(Question #1:  Why "roll over in his grave???"  Where did that expression come from and what does it mean?  First one to "Google" it and tell me in the comment section wins a prize!!!)

Blog 14: Every stage is good

I left home this morning at 7:45 and I just returned now (9:55).  I had a meeting in Regina.... one about which I cannot say much b/c most of the info shared is confidential..... but here is what I was thinking about on the way home......

Sari was gone for the weekend so it was just Megan and me hanging out.  Then, tonight after my meeting, I went and took Katelyn out for supper.  Now, here it the part I was thinking about.......

I often say that I miss my "little girls" and I really do.  I miss having little kids.  I miss ponytails and little hands to hold on walks etc.  However, I have also said that I have enjoyed every stage along the way as well.  Every new stage has brought new things to our relationships and that has been good.

All that to say that I really enjoy hanging out with the lovely young women that I get to call my daughters. I think that they are great and I am thankful for them!

Maybe because they remind me of their mother (and I like her too).

Blog 13: Going Old-school

"It has been about 4 years..... I should back-up the files on the church computer" I said to myself last week.

I even went so far as to ask Sara if she had an extra flash drive that I could use.  She said that she would look for one and that is where it ended. 

"I will do it on Tuesday" (the next time I am in my office), I thought.

Then.... last night..... Saturday night..... at about midnight..... as I was about to check over all my stuff for Sunday morning (a ritual that I have.... look everything over just before going to bed so you remember it better in the morning)...... I turned on the computer and ....... SNAP!!!!!!....... a terrible sound from deep inside the laptop and then it just went dead.  Like, not partially unusable, but rather completely unresponsive...... like "boat anchor" unresponsive...... no hard drive spinning ...... nothing on the screen..... dead!

Oddly, mashing all the buttons.... turning it off and on a few times.... and taking the battery out did nothing to help the situation.

So with no time to re-do everything, I had to (gasp!)...... preach and teach without Powerpoint!!!!!!

Not only that, but I had to teach Bible class without any notes (They were done, just not printed and therefore trapped in the computer).

In other words, I had to go all Charles Spurgeon on it (For those who don't know, Spurgeon was a preacher in England in the 1800s...... he didn't use Powerpoint either).

The moral of the story is two-fold........

1. You can still do church without Powerpoint.  It is entirely possible.

2.  When you think "I ought to.......... (fill in the blank)" listen to that voice.  It may save you some headaches down the road.

Now..... back-up your computer files before you forget and regret it (like me!). 

Blog 12: Getting and Giving

Getting:  The Estevan Antique Auto Club held a "Swap meet/Flea Market" today and it was great for several reasons....

1.  All the cheap prices of garage sales without having to (a) drive all over town and (b) not being the only one there.  When I go to a garage sale and I am the only one there looking around, I feel bad if I don't buy anything.  I always feel pressured to buy something, even if it is junk, just so that the seller feels better.  Flea markets/swap meets are great because there are tons of people walking around so you can mix in with them and not feel so much pressure. 

2.  It is a social event.  It took me more than hour just to make the first lap around the place b/c I kept running into people to visit with.

3.  Of course, everything is cheap.  Look at this pile that I bought......

4 L of motorcycle oil..... in store $6 x 4 = 24
A repair manual for Megan's truck.... in store $35
A choke cable for my Enduro car (I needed one)...... maybe (what?).... $25-30
A leather carpenter's belt...... retail $35

My total cost at the Swap Meet....... $11  (I am just glad that Sari is out of town b/c we would have spent a lot more than that!)

Giving:  I did an interview for a video that will be shown at the Estevan Motor Speedway awards banquet.  They interviewed a few of us..... here is Aaron Turnbull doing his.....

It was a fun experience.  Can't wait to see how it turned out.

Blog 11: Something to think about

I like this guy.....

His name is Mike Rowe and he is the host of a show called "Dirty Jobs".  He is also a very good writer and he has said some things that have caused quite a stir on the internet.  Like the time that he said, "'Follow your passions' is stupid advice".  I think he has a point!

Read the full article here (comment below if you like).

Blog 10: WHAT????? You have to see this

Ummm.... Dude is 105 years old and just set a world record for the 100 meters in his age category. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????  Who knew that there even was an age category for "Hundred year old hundred yard dash"???

I love, too, that he complains in his interview that he should have done it in a faster time.  I think it is amazing that he can even stand up much less run and do shot put. 

I dare you to watch this and not have a smile on your face!

I double dare you to watch this and not feel bad about the fact that you (like me) get winded going up the stairs to get a snack from the fridge when you are less than half this guy's age!  :(

Super cool!