The Christmas tree adventure!!!????

On Monday night, I was out in my garage when Megan burst through the door and announced, "Mom says it is time to go get the tree!"

I assumed that meant that she and I were going to get the tree.  However, when I went inside the girls had their coats on too.

"We are all going?" I asked.

"Mom says we are" was the reply.

"What is wrong with you people?" the gentle mother of the family inquired.  "Of course you are all going!  Getting the Christmas tree is a family event.  It is tradition!!"

"Of course you know that we are just picking one out of a line-up and not happily marching through a beautiful forest in search of the perfect tree to cut down, right?" I asked.  "It is more like going to the police station and picking which guy stole your purse than it is some magical movie adventure."

"I know, but it is still tradition" she said and so off went.

On the way to the tree lot we discussed the fact that we ought to have cash with us just in case they did not take debit.  Since none of the females in my family carry cash and by default (because they steal all of it out of my wallet) neither do I.... we went to the drive through teller thing by Wal-Mart.

"This machine is being serviced" said the screen, so we made the trek all the way back across town to the bank (not that far in a small town but still......) and then back to the tree lot.

Did I mention that it was 8:30 at night and the temperature was -32 with a wind chill of - 84678943768943678467878436?????? 

So we jump out of the truck.  At the same time a guy from the Kinsmen comes out of his little sales shack.

"What do we need to know?" we ask.

"These are trees" he responds helpfully.

"How do we know which type is which?" we ask and begin to shiver.

"There are tags on the bottoms of them." 

This turns out to be true but terribly unhelpful information because at - 8463904869048360 no one is going to bother getting down on the ground to read anything that is tied to the bottom of a tree stuck in the snow.

At this point, because they are teen-agers and are allergic to warm winter clothing, the girls look only slightly warmer than the chickens in our deep freeze.  Fearing that they be frozen in place.... meaning that we will have to leave them in the tree lot until spring.... we decide to move things along.

Looking at the rows of trees, all bundled up and offering no clue as to their "fullness" or their "beauty", the decisive (and equally frozen) mother points at one tree and says, "We will take that one".

With that I grab the tree.... the girls run to the back of the truck.... Megan opened the door on the capper..... Katie opens the tailgate..... I come running around and toss the tree into the back like a mobster stuffing a body in the trunk of a car (I grew up in the hood remember)..... Sari paid the dude and away we went.

Tree shopping done in 38 seconds..... a new world record!!!!!

On the way home I asked why we did not buy a tree from "No Frills" (a "Superstore" subsidiary) because they were like $30 and we just paid $80.   Sari said that the ones at "No Frills" were only 5 to 6 feet tall.   The one we bought was 6-7 feet tall.

"So we paid $50 extra dollars for an extra foot of tree that will likely be too tall when we get the angel on it and have to cut it off anyway?"

"Yes!"

"Oh good!"

It is tradition after all!  :)