Pippus Brother's Bike Trip (part 1): Self-inflicted wounds

So my brother Kurt (aka "Lenny") and I just got back from an 8 day motorcycle trip to Montana and Idaho.  The thing is.... when Lenny and I get together, we have a lot of fun, but we don't always make the best decisions (as you will see over the next few days if you keep coming back to the blog).

One thing before I carry on.... I need to apologize to Aunt Mindy!  If you are reading this, "yes" I did ride right past the road to the cabin and "yes" I passed through Bozeman and area without calling or stopping in.  I am sorry... but it is not really my fault.  The rules of the Pippus brother's bike trip are (a) No one else can go on the trip with us and (b) we cannot stop to see friends or relatives along the way.  I am sorry, but I did not make the rules (actually, I think I did make those rules, but I still felt bad about not at least saying "hi".  So, again, sorry!  :)

Ok - with that - on with the show.
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Over the summer I read Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield's book about his time on the International Space Station.  The one thing that I remember him saying (over and over), "Astronauts are not fearless or risk takers.  They are problem solvers.  When you are a long way from home you have to be able to handle set-backs and decide 'What is the next thing that can kill me?' and then deal with that".

Lenny and I were astronauts on this journey!  Every time we turned around something else was going wrong.  In fact, we decided that we should have a reality show.... but we would likely screw it up!

It all started on the first day in Miles City, Montana.  It was a bright and sunny.  We were anxious to get on the road, so we loaded our stuff up and got prepared to leave.

I took my glasses off, laid them on the gym bag that was strapped to the back of my bike. Then I put my helmet on, started the bike, backed up and proceeded to head out of the parking when I thought, "Where are my glasses?  I am not wearing them!!!"

I ran back to the parking lot only to find that I had not only knocked my glasses onto the ground, but I also stepped on them and then drove the bike across them.  Needless to say, it was not a good start to the trip.

Looking at my mangled, broken glasses, Lenny said, "Let's go to the Wal-mart and have them put your lenses in different frames".  A great idea.... if the Wal-mart dude would have helped us.  Instead, he refused!  He was all like, "If the lenses are not in the right place, then your prescription will be wrong".

I pointed out that I was 600 kms from home and that having glasses with the wrong prescription was a better option than no glasses at all.  He was unmoved.

Then Lenny had another good idea, "Let's buy some cheap magnifying glasses, take the lenses out of them and put your lenses in ourselves".

So we bought $9 glasses and some precision screwdrivers so that we could make the switch.... BUT the magnifying lenses were glued into the frames rather than held in with a screw, so I could not get them out.

Since we were now way behind our scheduled departure time, I just threw the broken glasses into my saddlebag and rode the next 5 hours without them.  It wasn't bad in terms of seeing the road, but reading the road signs were a challenge.  I could not see them until they were almost past me. "Next..... goat..... free..... toffee?????"  Wa?????

Anywho, in the end I decided to break the cheap frame, take out the magnifying lenses and then zip-tie and duct-tape my broken glasses onto the frame of the magnifying ones.  The results looked like this.....

Now I realize that this is not the most stylish look (and I only wore them under the helmet when I was riding), but at least it made me legal and allowed me to see.

I think Chris Hadfield would have been proud (even if my girls laughed their heads off at me!).

And that is only day 1.   :)