Wa?????

So I am playing squash with Paul Quilliams at the Leisure Centre tonight and I break my racquet. Now, this is a cheap old thing that I have had for probably 3 or more years. It has all kinds of dents and scrapes in it, the head is all bent out of shape and the grip is well worn out. Tonight several of the strings broke.

So I run into the locker room, throw the old racquet in the garbage can, get the other racquet that I have been carrying around forever (just in case this happened) and head back out to finish our game.

When I came back into the locker room, I look and someone took my old racquet!!!! Right out of the garbage can!!!! Wa????? I mean, it wasn't worth re-stringing (it would cost more to re-string it than replace it) and it had of no value at all.

The only logical explanation is that someone took it because it used to belong to me!!!!!

Maybe I have a stalker who was just waiting to go through the trash to pick up whatever worn out, broken, stinky thing that I throw away next!!!! I mean, I can see a whole new income stream here....... orange peels, old shoes, receipts from the gas station (those actually have my name on them even!!!!)..... the list of things is virtually endless. Maybe I should start putting towels around my neck and throwing them into the crowd like Elvis used to do (I wonder how much people would pay for a sweat soaked towel from me??????)

Anyway - if you are my stalker - this note is for you.......... send me an email listing the sorts of items that you are really interested in and I will send you a price list. If you act quickly (because I can't do this all day), I may even autograph a few of the items for you.

(I wonder if I should be investing in some "people" - you know like "I will have my people call your people" sort of thing. I have always wanted to have "people" or a "posse" or some "homeboys" or even a few "hangers on"........ that might be fun! Send your resume today! Space is filling fast!) :)