The Happiest Place on earth

Sari and the girls are away and so I decided to visit the happiest place on earth.

No, this place has nothing to do with gigantic, fake mice or princesses.  The happiest place on earth (around these parts anyway) is the motorcycle shop.

And guess what?????   They have one of these sitting in there......



That, my friends, is a Kawasaki Concours 14.... and here is the best part.... it is on sale for the low, low price of $13 999 (What is the line the girls always use on me when shopping in Minot???  Oh ya.... "I could have spent  _____ but I got this for WAY cheaper!")

Anyway, before I went to look around, Sari texted me and said "behave"..... which I interpret to mean "Don't even think about it bozo"..... but I have a plan.

If 1000 of you chipped in $14 each......... think of it this way... when was the last time you bought me a birthday present????  Here is your chance to make up for that oversight.  Even if you bought me a present recently, this is a cheaper option than buying me another shirt or something.

It could be your chance to help out an oppressed guy who lives in a house of females who think clothes and food are more important than motorcycles (Girls!  Pphhhffttt!!!) 

What is that?  You say I am lucky I have a wife that is nice enough to let me have ANY motorcycle much less the really nice one I currently have???   Many wives would not even consider that and Sari almost forced me to buy a good one???? 

True.... that makes her truly a spectacular wife(not to mention "odd" - in the best sort of way). 

However, think how much better that story would be if I had a brand new Concours to brag about.  Huh????  THAT would be a real story!!!!

Sari?????  Honey?????   HELLO???????  :)

That isn't funny!

 

An era has ended.  For more than 4 four years I have set my PVR to record the "Just for Laughs" comedy festival any time it was on.  I love watching "stand up".  It is amazing to me that a person can go on stage with nothing more than words and ideas and make a living... that is cool.  Sometimes it is vulgar and gets the quick "fast forward" button, but lots of times it is witty, insightful and just plain funny.

For example, one of my favorite guys, Greg Giraldo (who unfortunately died in 2010 and was a Harvard graduate) had this to say about 9/11......

"I live in New York and it is scary.  I mean.... every day my boy comes up to me and says, 'Daddy, why do the bad men hate us????  Why do the bad men hate us????'   That is sad isn't it...... because my son is 23 years old!!!!  I'm like.... 'I don't know... why don't you read a paper and form your own opinions!' What kind of a moron am I raising here?"  :)

Anyway, I have now recorded and re-record every "Just for laughs" ever made (5 times over) and so, the other day, I made the hard decision to set the PVR to "First run only".  No more reruns.... only new stuff.... and who knows when that will ever come out.

But the good news is that I have about 10 hours of really funny stuff saved up...... if you are ever bored and need a laugh.... I've got you covered.

Is that really necessary?

 

When doing the weather for Saskatchewan, is it really necessary to have forecasts for Regina, Swift Current, Moose Jaw, Yorkton, Weyburn and Estevan?

Seriously, I was watching the news at noon and they spent 5 minutes talking about the weather tomorrow and each of the places I mentioned were within 2 degrees of each other and they were within 20% in terms of "Probability of precipitation".

I mean, it is not as if the "coastal mountains" between here and Weyburn are going to drastically alter that weather patterns are they?

Or maybe they have to give such a detailed account because of the vast inland sea that we live beside.... there is a good chance of "Lake effect snow" when you get close to "Old Wives Lake" I am sure! (Or is that just Alkali blowing off the "lake"?  Either way, it is white I guess)

Wouldn't it be easier and more straight forward to say, "If you are in southern Sask, it is going to be about -15 and sunny" and just leave it at that???   I don't think I am repacking the SUV because it is going to be -14 when I leave Estevan BUT -16 when I get to Weyburn!!!!

What is JC Garden's phone number????  I think I can cut his work load down by about 95% here.  :)

PS.  Did I mention that all the girls are out of town and the only one I have to talk to is the dog.... and he doesn't want to be in the house with me?????  

Dads

My kids thought that this was funny - so I am posting it for them.  Enjoy!

PS.  "30 blogs in 30 days" is making its return this weekend (I think).  Check back for more.... ummm... stuff.  :)

Is it 1937??????

The Canadian government is funding research into its latest and greatest idea.......




Yep - a blimp!   Read about it here.

Now, before you right to me and tell me how stupid I am.... I do get the idea. The north is hard to get to and there are very few landing strips, so blimps make a lot of sense.  They can also haul very heavy loads very cheaply.

But still..... doesn't it sound sort of funny????  

"Yes, Prime Minister, we are looking into blimps.  Of course, we will not be able to complete those until we have looked into other important advances for Canadians such as the "voice to voice telegraph", the "Moving picture box" and the "Horseless carriage" - but once we have a handle on those things we will advance to the blimp!"

Ah the government..... 100 years behind the times and dropping like a rock!  :)

Seems about right

Hey y'all I have not given up on the blog. It is just that (as they say in the hood where I grew up).... "Stuff has been going down!" (or something similar to that).  :)

Anyway, sorry for not writing during the last week (I will explain someday - maybe).

For now, here is a video that my brother sent to me last week.... I had forgotten all about about the movie and this scene, but I like it - so here ya go. Enjoy! And thanks for coming back to read the silliness that is on here...... There is more to come! :)

Captain Kirk calls Chris Hadfield on the ISS

I heard a portion of this interview on the CBC when I was driving home at lunch.  If you have about 13 minutes, you should watch it.  Hadfield has some cool things to say about handling fear, doing something worthwhile and about the experience of being in space and seeing what he is seeing. 

Have a look!

Nice night (Day 29)

Tonight Hillcrest School held a "Sleigh ride/family night" and it was lots of fun. 

Horses.... fire pit.... coffee/hot chocolate/etc.... lots of families.... skate give away.... skating at the rink.... beautiful night.... did I mention a big fire (I got to be the one in charge of that.... starting fires on the school grounds - legally this time!!!!!  Woo hoo!!!!)  :)   

Good job Sari and all!


We have pics coming. I will post them tomorrow.

Ha Ha

I can hear my girls saying "Ahhhh" already

Baby animal pics..... here

This makes me want to go to New York - Anyone???

 

Grand Central Terminal (not "Station".... it is a terminal because it is the end of the line) is turning 100 years old.  Who wants to check it out????? 

Until then, check out these pictures.

A Childhood hero, a story and a complaint (Day 28)

Think back to your childhood heroes.  People you thought were simply "cool". 

Have any of you every had the chance, later in life, to meet one of your heroes?

I did.... just last week.

When Lenny (aka my brother Kurt) and I were kids, if you wanted to find us on a Sunday afternoon in the summer, all you would have to do is go to the exhibition grounds in Moose Jaw.  Why?  Because that is where the stock car races were held.

The stock car guys were our heroes... we knew all there was to know about their cars, their crews... we even rode our ten speeds all over town going to get to the houses or shops where the cars were stored just to see if we could tell what had been done to them that week (New motor?  New paint??). 

In fact, I even remember jumping through the windows of a few of those cars and pretending that I was driving (all the while watching for the owner who likely would not have been as excited about that as I was).

Looking back on it, I realize now that the cars they ran in Moose Jaw were sort of junky.  In fact, they would not be much better than a "bomber class" or "Enduro car" at most race tracks now.   They were just old cars with the windows kicked out and a roll cage welded in. 

However, there was one guy who had the craziest car we had ever seen.  I mean, this thing was super fast!!  It was loud!!!  The team was so cool that they even had a real car hauler and matching team jackets!!!   They did not race in Moose Jaw very often, but when they did, it was a show!

That team..... Jim Barnstable's team from Estevan, Saskatchewan.

Now, some of you are thinking "Wa?" because you don't have a clue - nor do you care - who Jim Barnstable is..... and others of you are thinking "Wa?" because you do know who Jim Barnstable is and you are thinking "He was your hero???"

Well, hero may be a strong word.... but to a 14 year old kid, dude was cool.

So imagine my surprise when several years ago, guess who moves into the house across the street from the church building..... one Mr. Jim Barnstable.

I often thought, "I should go over there, introduce myself and tell him my story of watching him race when I was a kid".   But then I thought, "Bah!  Why would he care that some preacher watched him race 25 years ago?"

Then, last week, I was outside shoveling the walk and guess who drives up to the church building with a load of clothes for our free clothing outlet.  So I introduced myself and told him my story and he was thrilled!!! 

In fact, he told me that he had this scrapbook of all his old race cars and newspaper clippings and stuff.... it was over at his machine shop and he said that I should come by and look at it sometime.  There was even stuff in there about Moose Jaw.  I told him I would do that.

Then.....

On Wednesday I am sitting in my office when I hear someone banging around in the building.  I get up to go see who it is and, lo and behold, it is Jim..... and he has the scrapbook with him.  "I just thought I would drop by and show this to you."

And so he did.... for the next half hour or more.  Then he said, "There is a ton of stuff in there to read.  Why don't you just take it home and look it over.  Keep it as long as you want and just bring it back when you are done".

Sometimes, when you are a kid, you build people up in your mind to the point that there is no way that they could ever be that nice.... so when you really do meet them it is a let down.

Not this time.  Jim could not have been nicer.  And I think I made his day too.  It is nice to be remembered, right?

 ___________
 So, for the first time in a year, I decided to go to "Noon Hockey" today.  It turned out well.  I am sore and tired, but it was a ton of fun.... all except for one thing.

When I went to look over my stuff last night to make sure nothing was missing, I noticed that someone (Sari) had put "Bounce fabric softener" sheets all through my hockey bag.

I was expecting to smell "Hockey dressing room" and what I got was "Spring flower tulip".

What is she trying to do?????  Get me beat up?????  Cause that is what happens to guys at hockey who smell too nice!!!!  

I almost beat myself up just on the principle of the thing!!!

I spent years getting that stuff to smell that bad!!!   I (literally) have not washed the shirt that goes under my shoulder pads in 10 years or more.  10 YEARS!!!!! 

Bounce sheets!!!!!!   Brother!!!  :(
__________
One last thought......

I am not the most "Politically Correct" guy.  Sometimes I think that stuff goes a little overboard.

However, the other day I heard something that did offend me and I can't believe that it has not been changed in all these years.

I asked Megan, "So what did you do in gym class today?"

Her response... "We played British Bulldog!"

Now come on!!!

Why is that not..... "Monarch ruled, island dwelling, North Sea, Anglo Saxon Male of the species Bos Taurus canine?"

"British Bulldog" indeed! 

I am writing to somebody about this, you know????!!!!  :)

You have to watch this

I know nothing about this guy... no idea who he is or what his story is (I may look him up later if I get a moment).... but I stumbled across this today and just had to share it.  Dude has something to say.

Some good news and some good advice (Day 27)

My "Cycle World" motorcycle magazine came today and that is good news for several people....

1. Me (For obvious reasons)

2. Dennis (As he gets to read them after I am done with them)

3. Sari (Because she no longer has to listen to me whine... "Where is my 'Cycle World'?" every day)

4.  The mailman/woman/person (I was about to start frisking the letter carriers to see if they were hiding my magazine from me - and that may have been a little awkward)

5.  Katelyn and Megan (Because it may be hard for them to survive without their Dad being around during their teenage years because he is locked up as a result of the fight that would have most certainly broken out after the "frisking" bit).

So - as you can see - it is a good thing the magazine showed up today.  The entire course of our collective lives my have been changed had it not.
___________
I was not going to share this bit of good advice.  In fact, it is completely against my better judgment.  However, Sari said I ought to blog it as it may help others.  So, feel free to take the advice and try the idea.  Results may vary.....

Sari was sitting on the couch at lunch and she could not stop coughing.  She asked if we had any "Halls" or something (as if I would know).

I said, "No, but I saw a stand-up comic one time who recommended taking laxative``.

"Why?  What good will that do?" she asked.

"Well", I replied, "His theory was that if you took enough of it you would be too scared to cough".  :)
 __________
See - better judgment should have ruled there.  Oh well!  Have a good night!  :)

Huh! (Day 26)

So Megan and I were the only ones going to church from our house this morning.  Katie was at a sleepover and was driving herself to church from there and Sari was down and out with a head cold thing that she has been fighting for over a week.

So Megs and I got out to the garage..... I go to the driver's side.... she goes to the passenger's..... I open the middle row door of the SUV just as she opens the one on her side.... I throw some stuff on the seat at the exact same time as she throws stuff on the other seat...... we close both doors at the exact same milli-second....... then we both open the front doors at the same time.... jump in and slam them at exactly the same time.

Megan says, "THAT WAS FREAKY!"

I say, "Naaaaa naaa naaaaa naaaa naaaa..... you are just like your Daddy!!!!!"

To which she replies, "Or you are just like a teenage girl!!"

Where do kids get this stuff and why are they so mean and hurtful???????  

I blame her mother!  :)

Megan goes Crazy... a Road Rage incident... And the day I almost started a fight at a Junior High Basketball tournament (Day 25)

 

Megan is very nice..... too nice sometimes.... at least when it comes to basketball.  Sometimes she is so nice that she allows girls on the other team to take the ball right past her and shoot until they score.  She does not want to upset someone by fighting for the ball.

So before her last game of the day in Weyburn we told her that she had to get a foul....  at least one.... that fouls are not all bad.... that you are allowed 5 in a game because it is assumed that if you are trying you are going to run into people... you are going to grab their arm instead of the ball once in a while..... and generally you cannot be super nice and win.  Not that we wanted her to be mean.  We just wanted her to compete.

So - whether it was our talk or her own competitiveness coming out.... she went nuts!  She pushed people around on defense..... she rebounded and fought for the ball.... and she ended up with three fouls.  We created a Monster!!!

It was great!

That was her best game ever!  She competed for the ball and it was good to see.

Way to go Megan!!!!
________
On the way home, we look up and there is some bonehead passing a semi, but he does not have enough time, so he is in our lane - coming right at us - and there is no way he is going to make it.

I slow down a little bit to give him a second or two more to complete the pass and he just barely gets back into his lane just in front of the semi and just before we crunch him, so as he went by I laid on the horn..........

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNKKKKK!!!!!!!

 I hope he hears that sound in his ears all night.

 It is no wonder people die on highway 39 every other month..... no patience, no judgement and everyone has to get to where they are going RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKK!!!!!
_________________
With a few minutes left in the last game today, one of the girls from the Yorkton team had a hissy right on the court and right in the middle of the game.  She was trying to dribble and just screeched at one of our girls,"Watch your hands!"

It was very unsportsmanlike - especially considering the fact that our girl was not called for a foul.  This other girl just did not like being guarded so closely.

Anyway, the play went to the other end and then came back right in front of us when.... "TWEET!!!"......  the "screechy girl" got called for "reaching in". 

Without even thinking (which can be a problem for me sometimes) I yell at her.....

"WATCH YOUR HANDS!"   :)

Now I am not normally one to heckle opposing teams - especially 14 year old girls..... and apparently Sari and Katie thought it was a little odd because both of them looked at me like I had just kicked a puppy across the court.

Katie turned to me and said, "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!"

"Why not?" I asked.  "I am just repeating what she said.  It is good advice!"

Then I started thinking, "Hmmm.... I wonder if this is going to start a 'Brazilian Soccer Brawl'"..... but, unfortunately, it didn't.   :(

I was ready though..... I am pretty sure that I could have taken that kid!  :)

Don't throw that away!! (Day 24)

Thursday is the start of my weekend (I can hear it now.... "How do you preachers know when your weekend starts when you only work one day a week?"   Ah ha ha!!!) 

Actually, come to think of it, I have only rarely heard that comment in this church and that was many years ago (Which just proves my theory..... If someone makes a stupid comment like that.... then they suddenly go missing.... it deters similar comments).

Anyway.... my self-imposed rule is that all sermons and classes MUST be written and done by the time I leave the office on Thursday.  Two good reasons for this......

    1.  Finishing early gives me at least a couple of days to roll the ideas around in my own mind.  This helps to clarify them even more before I have to try to communicate them and it helps with transitions between points/smoothness of delivery etc.

     2.  More selfishly, if I don't get them done during "office hours" then I have to work on them on my own time - which I do not want to do.

Why am I telling you all of this?   Well, I had blocked off most of this afternoon for a "Webinar" (a web-based seminar) that I had signed up for and when it was done a little early I had nothing pressing to do because I was already ready for Sunday. 

So, as I was going to check the mail, I walked past one of the vacuum cleaners in the back room.  When I saw it, I remembered someone telling me that there was something wrong with it.  The strange thing was that it was almost brand new, but it did not work at all.  So I decided to take a look at it ("Household appliance repair" is not something you are taught in Bible, but maybe it should be as I have fixed a lot of stuff around there.  Bible colleges should also include classes too about furniture moving and roof shingling as I have done a lot of those activities too).

Anyway, I took the thing apart and, after checking a few things, I suspected there was a blockage somewhere.  Took out three screws.... took the hose off.... tried to blow through it.... nothing!   Took a broom handle..... tried to run it through the hose..... would not go!   Started beating the hose against the floor while trying to push the broom handle through it..... and suddenly this huge, hairy mass of stuff comes out.  It looked like at rat!(It wasn't, of course, but it was about that size and shape).

Put it all back together and it works like a charm.

Now, I am not telling you this to brag (who can't take a hose off of a vacuum cleaner and beat a furry mess out of it?), or to say, "Oooh - look at what I can do" (Because, it is not that impressive.  Ok - it is not impressive at all).   But here is my point......

People give up too easily!  

That vacuum had been sitting there for more than a month.... and it likely was not working that well before it was finally "parked".   All it took was ten minutes, a screwdriver and a broom handle to fix it and yet there it sat.  (By the way - this is not a shot at the "Maintenance people" at the church.... they would have fixed it had they known about it... they do lots of good work and I don't want to get on their bad side).

One time a guy gave me a VCR and asked if I would take a look at it and see what was wrong.  I took the top off and there was about 16 inches of tape wrapped around the play head.  I pulled the tape out, put the top back on.... in three minutes it was fixed.

Another time a guy gave me a lawn mower that would not start. When I got it home, I decided to check the spark plug and see what it looked like.... the spark plug was so loose it almost fell out in my hands.   Tightened it up and it ran like brand new. 

So, here is the thing..... if it is broken already, why not try to fix it???   You can't make it worse and, sometimes, you may end up actually figuring out what was wrong. 

As one of my buddies likes to say, "I can wreck a lot of things for the cost of paying someone else to fix it!"  :)
_______________
So - one more day of finals...... and everyone will be glad when it is done.  It will be nice for the kids to have finals behind them.  It will be nice to get out from the pressure of having to study.  It will be nice for the parents to not have to re-learn all this stuff so we can help them study.... it will just be nice.

Ok - more pics and stuff to come.... but for now I am done.  Thanks for reading!

If you like hockey (day 23)

Generally speaking, I do not like Rogers Sportsnet.  Too gimmicky.... too weird.... too much basketball..... etc, etc.  In fact, I don't watch it at all, because I like TSN so much better.

However, I may have just found a new favourite show - and it just so happens to be on Sportsnet.

It is called "On the Edge: the road to the Mastercard Memorial Cup" and it is a behind the scenes look at the Western Hockey League`s Saskatoon Blades.

Now I will warn you, the language is not great (as you may expect in a behind the scenes look at a hockey team).... there are lots of ``beeps`` per show..... but if you have ever wondered what life is like as a junior hockey player - this is your chance to find out.

I have only seen one show so far, but if you like hockey at all, I think you will like this show.  Check it out.
__________
As well - day 1 of ``Finals`` is in the books.  Kids both feel like they did well on their exams today and are working hard on the upcoming stuff. 

Whoa!! We are in High School again (Day 22)

Dude!  Not only are the girls doing finals this week, so are Sari and I.

Tonight saw both of us studying with the kids.  As we did last night.... and the night before that.... and the night......

I don't think I studied this much when I was IN school.

Who said that you would never use Grade 9 algebra again?????  :)

A Question... a Review... a Story (Day 21)

So the NHL is back.  Are you watching or boycotting? (Or did you not care or watch before the lockout?)

I have to say that I did not think I cared whether they came back or not.  I kept saying that I did not miss it..... but I also have to say that I really enjoyed watching the Leaf game last night.  I watched a bit of the Canucks/Oilers game tonight too..... I am glad that they are back. 

I am not going to spend several hundred dollars to go to a game,but I would rather see hockey on TSN instead of Poker!
______________
Today was a good day at church.  Good discussion in class.... everyone seemed very "visity" and in good moods.... I thought the sermon went well..... but the best part was that this was the Sunday for our "Annual General Meeting".

Using the AGM is terribly uninteresting.... mostly a legal requirement to go through the budget and vote on it.  Sometimes there are a few questions.... a few suggestions.... a couple of years (long ago) there was some "heated discussion" about whether to support this or not support that..... but over the last few years there has been very little discussion.

So what made the "AGM" so good this year?

Some brainy person decided that we were going to have a hot turkey lunch because it was AGM Sunday.  It was like Christmas dinner there today.... Yummmmm!!!!! 

After the budget was presented, I made a motion that we have a huge turkey dinner every Sunday... How much work could it be????  I mean, I contributed this time by taking a bag of frozen peas to the church building and sticking them in the freezer...... if I can do my part certainly others can slave away cooking turkeys, making stuffing, etc, etc, right?

I am going to start looking for more "legal requirements" that we have to fulfill!   :)
 _____________
Other other day, Sari and I were coming home from somewhere and we heard on the radio that 1 in 5 people sleep-walk.

Do you believe that?  1 in 5????  Doesn't that seem high?

I guess maybe not..... the stat in our house is at least 1 in 4.

When I used to play Rec hockey and come home at 12:30 or 1 am, Sari used to wake up freaking out.... like screaming as if someone was trying to kill her.  Of course, her screaming in the dark house would freak me out.... then I am screaming..... it was a mess.

Other times she will jump out of bed and end up 1/2 way down the hall before she wakes up.  When I ask what she is doing she just says, "Shut up!"  :)

So the other night, I decide to roll over.  As I do, Sari sits straight up in bed and practically yells, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT??????"

I reply, "Yes..... well other than the fact that my ear drums are broken now".

To which she says, "WHAT????"

Thinking, "Well she is awake now" I ask..... "Hey did you turn off the space heater downstairs?" (We have a little heater in the family room downstairs and I could not remember if I had left it on, so I wondered if she got it).

She replies, "WHAT?????"

"Did you turn off the space heater?"

"Space heater??????  What is a space heater?????"

I say, "You know.... little oil heater.... in the basement...."

"WHAT?????"

"It is white..... throws heat.... space heater.... basement..... YOU bought the thing, remember?????"

"WHAT?????"

"Sari...... the space heater in the basement.... did you turn it off?"

Suddenly, she comes to and it all makes sense to her......... "SHUT UP!!!!!"

Be glad if you don't have a "1 out of 5" in your house!   :)