Three steps to a quieter Saturday morning (Blog 5 of 30)

Some of the world's greatest discoveries have come unintentionally.... by means of a fortunate accident.  (I cannot think of any right off the top of my head, but go with me on this ok?...... Oh wait......"Vulcanized Rubber" is one.... go look that up!  HA!!!)

Anyway, this morning I stumbled onto a three-step method guaranteed to get rid of those religious door knocking people who usually show up early on Saturday mornings and want to discuss all manner of things - you know who I mean (Ed. note:  Please read down through the disclaimer at the bottom of this post).

Step 1:  Meet them at the door carrying a big butcher knife.  Seriously, that is what I did this morning.  You should have seen the look on dude's face!!!  Baaaa haaa haaaa!!!!!  I was holding it at about chest level so it was easy to see.  When I opened the door, he took about three steps back down the stairs and was like "Whoa, whoa!!"

Now, that was the "accidental discovery" part.  I did not intend to threaten the poor man.  When he rang the bell I was actually opening up a new car battery tester that my lovely wife bought me (40% off at C Tire this week - best deal you will find anywhere).  It just so happened that I forgot to put the knife down.  It got his attention very quickly, though, and actually threw off the rest of his talk (I never did put the knife down.... he kept glancing at it).

Step 2:  Listen politely.  That seemed to confuse him as well.  I think he was prepared for an argument when he rang the bell... then he saw the knife and his "fight instinct" turned to "flight"..... then I wasn't fighting back..... his emotional chart would have been all over the place.  He was completely discombobulated.

Step 3:  Tell him that you work for the church of Christ in town.  Admittedly, this is going to be harder for some of you than for others (unless you enjoy lying..... and then you have other issues to deal with).  Generally speaking, this piece of information stops them dead in their tracks..... and gets you a look that says, "Well why did you not mention this before????"

So there you go.  Three fool-proof, proven steps to rid yourself of this common problem.

Or just do step 1.  A few times of that and I am sure word will get around.  :)

Disclaimer:  While I do not agree with everything they teach and I believe that door knocking is actually hurting their cause rather than helping it.... I have to give them a pat on the back for trying.  Lots of people claim to believe lots of stuff that they say they believe is SUPER IMPORTANT and they do NOTHING about any of it.  At least these guys believe what they believe enough to try and tell others because they believe that you need to believe it too.  If we believed in the way they believed, maybe more people would believe.... I really believe that!  :)