Mashed. Fried. Baked. French fried. Some even like them raw (but they are freaks! Who eats raw potatoes?????). You simply cannot go wrong.
Unless......
The other day, as I was peeling potatoes, I noticed something odd. Something on the package.
For some strange reason, the potato people think that I want to see who grew my potatoes.
Why do I care?
I WANT TO EAT THE POTATOES..... NOT MEET THEIR FOSTER PARENTS!!!!!!
Then the next day I was helping with supper (because I was told to - not because I am trying to portray myself as some master chef here. My idea of high cuisine is not burning my store bought meat pie!)........ Anyway, I was washing up some cherry tomatoes and on the inside of the package.....
I don't get it! Are they supposed to taste better because I now know that they were "lovingly picked by Todd, Ralph and Herbert"????? (Those are not their real names.... they just look like Todd, Ralph and Herbert to me).
I DON'T CARE!!!!! SAVE THE MARKETING MONEY THAT IT TOOK TO GET TODD, RALPH AND HERBERT TO POSE FOR THIS PICTURE AND MAKE MY MINUSCULE CONTAINER OF TOMATOES COST LESS THAN $28.99!!!! HOW ABOUT THAT, RALPH, TODD AND HERBERT????? THAT WOULD MAKE ME LIKE YOU GUYS A LOT MORE!!!!
It is getting a little creepy, don't you think??? What if they did that for all products that we buy??? Step into the shower..... look at the bar of soap..... picture of some long haired high school dude on it..... he is pointing and winking at you and under his picture it says...... "Lovingly crafted by Doug".
From now on I am only buying orphan foods.... ones that do not have a clue who their family was!
____________
This rant reminds me of a joke that I heard one time from a stand-up comic named "Danny Bhoy". He said.....
"I was in a restaurant the other day and saw the most ridiculous thing in my life. The menu said, 'Corn fed, farm reared breast of chicken'. And I thought.....
I don't care about its childhood! I am going to eat it not interview it!" :)
1 comment:
Just wanting as a former farmer, to reply to your rant...if futurists are accurate, it won't be long until all family farms will be obsolete and machines will replace the efforts of current humans trying to personalize your recognition that currently farmers feed the world. According to your rant, you would be passively relieved to watch the passing of an era of history....digest that, eh? Lovingly, M
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