Forget the stock market. Forget mutual funds. I have found a way to make a 50% profit on your money in one night. Here is what you do....
First, go to the Estevan Bruins' hockey game with your daughter Katelyn (if you do not have a daughter Katelyn, you may be able to use any other daughter... or son I suppose... though I have not tried that so there are no guarantees. Optionally, I can rent you my daughter Katelyn - that way I make even more money)
Second, wait until she gets cold and wants something warm to drink (this may happen within the first three minutes, but it is best to wait until about the 2nd intermission)
Third, stand in line at the concession with said daughter until she orders. Take out a twenty dollar bill, hand it to her and say, "I'll be over here" and then move to the side.
Fourth, when the little girl comes back with your daughter's change and places it in front of her, reach over and take it. Place the $10 bill in your wallet and put the loonie in your pocket.
Fifth, stand a greater distance away from the concession until said daughter comes, hands you your coffee and says, "Here is your change" while dumping $17 in the pocket of your coat.
Review:
Initial investment: $20
Change received: $11 (the change I took from the counter) and $17 (the money Katelyn came back with) for a total of $28
That is a profit of almost a 50% in four minutes and thirty-five seconds!!!! (and you have a hot chocolate, a coffee and a very yummy Caramilk bar)
Now - the rest of the procedure is recommended only if your conscience is a problem for you (but be warned... it is going to hurt your profit margin greatly)
Six, look back at the concession and identify the rather large man with the very disgusted/annoyed/confused look on his face... hint: he is likely the one arguing with the concession girl who is saying, "But I gave you your change already"
Seven, go up to the man, tap him on the shoulder and ask him if he is missing his change. When he says "Yes" - as if to say "What business is it of yours" - confess what happened and EMPHASIZE (this part is important... it may determine whether further legal action is required or, possibly, whether or not you get punched in the face) the MISTAKE part of your explanation.
Eight, offer to give the money back. Ask the man how much it was while pulling the $10 bill out of your wallet. When he says, "Close enough" insist on giving back the full amount (the entire $11). This will be important later in the night when you discover that this man is a cousin of a couple who have been coming to church lately and to whom he tells this story.... and how honest you were in the end.
Either you make $11 or you make a reputation as a good good guy... And "all's well that ends well". Either way, you are ahead in the end. :)