A comment on a comment

This is not my posting for the day but rather a response to a comment found in my post about Christmas gifts and having a "spending disorder" (see below). I am posting this here because I think it deserves a response and it may not be seen if I bury it in the comments below.... something to think about......
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Blogger Davis Family said...

I will be of no help here. I have the same affliction. I have been pleased lately, since we are in a recession being "thrifty" is far more popular than it used to be. No advice - just a high five!

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(Me) I am glad to hear a "consenting voice". Seriously!

What would it look like if we did not think we had to lavish big expensive presents on our kids and on one another - not b/c we are too cheap to do it - but b/c we are too caring?

What I mean is - if the extent of our love is measured in how much we spent on our kids or our family at Christmas - what does that say and what does it lead to?

I certainly remember some lavish gifts from my mom.... waking up to Atari video games... or a game called "Electronic quarterback" (which I still have by the way)... and I am not sure how she did that. We did not have the money to buy those things and they were extravagant to us... and appreciated because that was not the normal thing.

But what happens when that is the normal? What happens when every year you have to spend more because the "wow factor" has worn off of gifts that cost less than $100?

I am not saying that we are doing everything right with our girls (I am certain that they will grow up with some regrets like - "I wish I had been given....." or "I wish we had gone to....."), but I am glad that they are still happy with simple things. They still find joy in little things.

For example, we have never had a Christmas morning at home - by ourselves - for our entire married life.... ever! The one year that we did stay home everyone came to our house (and it was great - from my point of view). So this year we said, "You are getting older. You do not have many years to be at home on Christmas morning... do you want to just stay home this year so that you can say that you got to do it?" Their answer: "No! We want to go to Dauphin and Moose Jaw. We want to be with our family - who cares about sitting at home by ourselves?"

Now I know that is not about "gifts" per se, but I think it says something about what they think Christmas is about - they are focused on family and not on stuff.

So - as I said - I appreciated all the "big gifts" that I got as a kid - but I also remember all the little "stocking stuffer" stuff.... I remember the year that I got a $10 goalie stick (I had wanted one forever).... I remember getting a book of Lifesavers every year (it was tradition). I also remember several things (a remote control blue and yellow airplane and a remote control front end loader to be specific) that I stared at in the "Wish book" for weeks and never got - but it really does not matter.

My mom was there.... we went to Grandma's for supper most Christmas days.... I got to share whatever I got with my brother and sister and they did with me too (I really liked the year Debbie got the "Barbie swimming pool" - that was fun!) :)

My mom did a great job of giving us great gifts... but they weren't all big (though some were). I guess - as tacky as it sounds - while the gifts were great it was the giver that made them special..... and I am just not convinced that you have to be in debt for the next 4 months for that to work.

I am not just being cheap here - I just think that the gift is about people (the giver and the recipient and their relationship) more than it is about the bottom line on the receipt (or at least it should be).

Thanks Roberta for backing me up on that! :)

Ps. If any of you comment on this blog... please check back in the comments section as I will likely respond to what you said - so please go and look.... I like the "conversation" part of this as much as anything (and two way conversation is way better than one way).