If any of you readers out there are single, have I got a deal for you!
(If you are married, you can keep reading if you want - just to see the great idea that you are missing out on - but you are hooped already as far as this discussion goes).
Forget blind dates!
Forget being "set up" by friends!
Forget dating services!
Forget the internet!
Forget stalking people!
(Oh come on!!!! Like you haven't!!!!! A buddy of mine and I used to "just happen" to end up having coffee in the same restaurant as this girl he liked - every night of the week..... he took me along to make it look like we were hanging out and just ran into her, but it was stalking none the less. PS. That did not work out so well - just in case you are wondering. He did not get the girl and I developed a caffeine addiction)
I am starting a completely new, completely revolutionary, completely fool-proof method of picking up chicks (First off, call the ladies chicks - they like that!) :)
This program will also help you single girls get guys, but let's face it..... who needs more help around here????? Not the chicks!
For $1000 I will reveal my new found secret to you...... ok...... since you are here anyway, I will tell you now, but I expect everyone of you who have read to this point to send me $1000 in the mail - even if you stop reading right now - you still owe me the $1000 (you can't stop in the middle and expect to pay nothing - you fill 1/2 of your gas tank you still have to pay, right?)
Ok - the secret....... First, go to broadcasting school and learn to do the radio DJ voice thing (you know what I mean) and then, second....... well, that is about it.
In over 18 years of recording the "Ministerial Moment" (a short devotional thing on our local radio station), I have yet to meet a DJ that looks the way they sound.
In other words, everyone sounds way cooler on the radio than they ever are in real life. The voice never, ever matches what the actual person looks like....... but that is ok! The trick is to get on the radio - talk lots - make people think that you are some sort of Greek God or that you are a really Hot Chick (see there is the key word again guys.... give it a try) ........ and then never, ever, let any of your listeners actually meet you until you are married to one of them!
Now you may ask, "How will I get from people thinking I sound like a Greek God or a Hot Chick on the radio to having them marry me sight unseen??????"
What am I..... Your mother????? I can't do everything for you here.
PS. When I was in high school, I thought about going into radio - and maybe I should have...... I mean, think about it..... I would have been like Fabio over there!!! :)